Another important lesson: No abusing of fishes.
 

We also had a fascination for beaches. Inexplicably.
Our hands-down favourite: Kamole III.
Beach behind our condo.
Black sand beaches -- caused by lava rock breaking down. Honokalani Black Sand Beach is located in the Wainapanapa State Park
The Po'olenalena Beach, where we both learned the important lesson: don't look down.

Sunrise 9,745 feet above the sea level over Haleakala.



 

In the dark it was FREEZING cold, but when the sun came up we started warming up.

Lobster claw.
 

Flowers, flowers, flowers!



 

We have a fascination with seaweed... 

...and with flowers.

Maria & Marcella on Maui 2006

 

Convince me

When I got my ears pierced a couple of weeks ago the crazy lady behind the make-up counter decided to distract me by pointing out the wrinkles around my eyes. "Look, so ugly, the wrrrrinkals. You must use eay crrraam! Use eay crrrraaam!!" (she had a very funny accent)

Anyhow I'm sure she saw SUCKER! printed on my forehead when I came in, because that little vial of eye cream should have some miracle power that I'm just not experiencing yet.

It got me thinking about what convinces me to act:
1. Derision
2. Guilt

What doesn't work with me:
1. Contempt
2. Out-right direction

Looking for a good woman

On my way home I was proposed to by a homeless guy who was hilarious. Walked right beside me and started a conversation like this: "I'm looking for a good woman, someone to take care of me, and keep me until I'm old... or some change for a cup of coffee!"

I laughed and told him no to both questions, I didn't have any change on me.

Ah yes, marriage proposals. Sometimes they are so funny, and no girl would ever forget her first proposal. I was in Grade 7, and it was October 31st. We were on the yellow bus to see Helen Keller play performed at the Citadel. And his name was Keith, and he was wearing a football jersey. Though I was flattered, I think I stomped on his foot in response.

Please help me! With a pen.

This hilarious guy contacted us looking for some pens...

Please help me! With a pen.
I am a young man and I am collecting pens with advertisement. I have a very large collection - but I am always looking for new pens. On these pages I will show you part of my collection.

http://www.pen-collection.com/

Training for Maui!

I'm thinking that the office temperature of 28 degrees (even though it's only 24 outside) is training for Maui. Since I am now on Maui, work doesn’t exist. Annoying people don't exist. I'm drinking... well, actually it's water. But I'm pretending it's so much more.

If it hits 30 degrees in here like yesterday, I'm getting out of here.

Ugly Cream

I love this idea:

men who are dating, married, "seeing", "interested in", "getting to to know" someone should all wear wedding rings...or have to wear a face cream that makes them ugly to everyone but the person they are with

Lame lame lame...

So someone decided to watch the game tonight because all their friends were watching it. We went down to Whyte Ave and watched the lamest game ever at a place that didn't serve food. Which meant we ordered in pizza and I was pretty much asleep by 9 pm when the game was finally over. Then we marched up and down Whyte with the rest of the idiots watching the game on Whyte, high-fiving and waving flags and honking.

Word!

New word: eponym

1. A person whose name is or is thought to be the source of the name of something, such as a city, country, or era. For example, Romulus is the eponym of Rome.
2. Medicine. A name of a drug, structure, or disease based on or derived from the name of a person.

Spelling Hate

#6 from my friend Carroll and it's a good one because it also uses an ellipsis with a period:

Sorry for any inconvenience this may of caused....

Hot stuff

It's partially because there's no air conditioning at work and it's hot outside, but one of my features is heat. I will melt away just even thinking about being warm.

Alex, always good natured.
Melissa, ever so sweet.


















And who are these hot chicks with their socks pulled up to their knees??

Nice shorts too.

Waah waah waaah

Tee hee hee! A little cranky??


 

Oh boy...

I've been scanning my dad's old slides. Yes, I know, I really shouldn't encourage his habits, and also get my own life... let's not talk about that.

It's always bugged everyone that my dad is such a shutterbug, but I've never actually realized that my dad takes that many crappy pictures. I guess my mom's always sorted through them and picked out the best ones to put into photo albums.

Seriously though, several rolls of 38 exposure slide film out the front of a car window. I'm humouring him that I'm scanning these photos, time out of my life I'll never get back!! I guess I don't have a life, but we're not talking about that.

Chivalry is not dead

This week it struck me that some men are still chivalrous -- and how interesting it was to see a big line up in Starbucks, and instead of opening the door for just himself and being ahead of us (his rightful place) some guy opened the door for us and then had to wait in line behind 6 women.

Eh?

Every day is not like another... sometimes. Usually I listen to my iPod or read a book on the bus in the mornings. Yesterday I did neither, but I did take my book out of my knapsack and have it on my lap. I ended up staring blankly out the window.

Half way through the ride a woman gets on and sits next to me and starts putting on her make-up and I thought "weird..." But she was really cute and reminded me of a friend I have.

I'm still staring blankly out the window and all of a sudden tap-tap-tap on my shoulder. It's the make-up girl and she says "Hi, do you mind if I borrowed your devotional for a couple of minutes? Like two minutes?"

Huh? "Oh... sure, here ya go."

She read a couple of chapters of Max Lucado's "Cure for the Common Life" and passed it back with a "thanks so much!"

Sean Rocks!

I believe I mentioned that I love Sean. He makes me laugh every day at work. He came in after a conference on Friday afternoon when he should have gone home and put his feet up and this happened:

________________________________________
From: Maria
Sent: Friday, May 05, 2006 11:41 AM
To: Sean
Subject: Replaced content class

Hey Sean,

Got your message. I replaced the content class from Navigation > L4 to Content > Content List used to organize lists of information with pages behind.

Is that what you meant??
________________________________________
From: Sean
Sent: Friday, May 05, 2006 1:13 PM
To: Maria
Subject: RE: Replaced content class

That's exactly what I meant. Very nice.

Needless to say, you rock.
________________________________________
From: Maria
Sent: Friday, May 05, 2006 1:34 PM
To: Sean
Subject: RE: Replaced content class

Thanks for the rock!

Go home Sean, and enjoy your balcony and a beer and the sun.
________________________________________
From: Sean
Sent: Friday, May 05, 2006 1:58 PM
To: Maria
Subject: RE: Replaced content class

Man, that sounds pretty good. Except with my luck, I'd just end up drunk and sunburned...

ST
________________________________________
From: Maria
Sent: Friday, May 05, 2006 2:12 PM
To: Sean
Subject: RE: Replaced content class

Too late, now everyone’s seen you.
________________________________________
From: Sean
Sent: Friday, May 05, 2006 2:15 PM
To: Maria
Subject: RE: Replaced content class

Yeah, I've already proofed an area office brochure for Beata. No rest for the stupid....

Rocking

Sean always responds to my posting confirmation emails with a hearty "You rock!" Inside joke maybe, but it never gets old!

Then this happens and I just love Sean:

_____________________________________________

From: R
Sent: Friday, April 28, 2006 9:31 AM
To: MP; Maria
Cc: Sean; Others
Subject: Overview

MP, here is the pdf with the requested changes. Sean had checked it over as well.

Maria, this .pdf needs to replace the Overview pdf already on the web.
_____________________________________________

From: Maria
Sent: Friday, April 28, 2006 9:39 AM
To: R; MP
Cc: Sean; Others
Subject: RE: Overview

Hi All,

This is updated on the websites.

_____________________________________________

From: Sean
Sent: Friday, April 28, 2006 10:00 AM
To: Maria
Subject: RE: Overview

It takes two days of back-and-forth between at least six different people to get the new version of this document to R.

You get the file from R, and seven minutes later it's online.

I think you need to teach a course for all the Overview people: Rocking 101.
_____________________________________________

From: Maria
Sent: Friday, April 28, 2006 10:02 AM
To: Sean
Subject: RE: Overview

HAHAAAAHAHA HAHA HA HAA!!

Come on… I’ll buy you a coffee for that. Let’s go to Starbucks.

Connection

He wants an instant connection and undeniable chemistry that makes you want to do nothing else but think about and spend time with the other person immediately.

Does that happen to adults over age 22? Maybe, but only after you get to know them...

Just Dandy!

I love in the spring when the first dandelions all spring out of the grass and they're all the same size!

Tuesdays and Thursdays

I'm going to sound like a crank, (ha ha, when don't I sound like a crank?!) but on weeknights I do the same things week after week. No suprises here.

Monday: Study
Tuesday: Family dinner night, sounds lame but my grannies like it
Wednesday: um...
Thursday: Work
Friday: um...

So when I repeatedly tell someone that Tuesdays and Thursdays aren't good for me to join her at the gym, you'd think it'd stick. The words "I never will join you at the Gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays" have come out of my mouth. Over and over again.

Disappointing to realize that It Will Just Not Stick. I'm going to have to give this person up as a friend. I just can't deal with it.

Bookstar

A certain author who's manuscripts I read while I was living in Calgary had his third book published and tonight was the book reading. It was the third book published, but the first one I read in manuscript form -- I can't wait to re-read it and remember it, since I first read it while on vacation in San Jose, California. I remember reading it outside in the sun, orange and lemon trees all around.

He's kind of got a puffed-up ego, like he's some sort of Bookstar. He figured his picture on the poster in the bookstore wasn't big enough. He also rearranged Dan Brown's books lower than his own. He does write well, but man, what a Bookstar.

Grandma, Grandma, Cousin

My parent's house is a revolving door for immigrants, family, friends, etc. I can't count how many non-family members we've had living with us over the years. Now, after both Grandmas have been here six months or more, our cousin Anna moved in. She's super helpful. I find I get more done with an Anna.

What I like

I like it in spring when the spring green grass starts growing all spikey and varied and no one has mowed yet.

Pr0n star

A senior executive director sent out a memo with a link to what was supposed to be our site. Except she mixed up the letters in our acronym and sent all staff a link to a pr0n site...

Spelling really does matter.

Memo from the KGB

I sent out a link via email to a "test" site on the internet with a mock-up of sensitive information that wasn't to be released until the next day to several managers for approval...

What I got back was a faxed copy, with all the sensitive words, links, and numbers blacked out with a marker, and the approval signature. Faxed mind you.

Me and my annoying self

In today's email:

If you need any other information please contact myself at...

Green with envy!

Bought two new green sweaters... and not only were they on sale, but they were further reduced for clearance, and not only were they reduced, I got 10% off!!

Consider this

Contrary to popular belief, your decisions don't drive your long term success - your decisiveness does. Said another way, when you reach a crossroads on any issue, the act of choosing creates power, not the choice itself. The issue is momentum. No matter what you choose, when you commit boldly with conviction, you create momentum. When you hesitate you don't. And success is built on momentum.

Link to full article

Less Puffy

A gym junkie told my sister that he was on day 42 of Absolutely No Sugar. And if he dieted as well, he'd be less "puffy."

Yeah. If I dieted I'd be less puffy too.

Fun quote of the day

For your information, I would like to ask a question.
- Samuel Goldwyn

squash is the new black

Squash is my new favourite thing. I bought a racket, I bought a ball, I bought a pair of goggles. My butt is super! After four times on the court, I'm still considering turning pro.

It's Pink day, didn't anyone tell you?

You've never seen anything until you've seen 150 church women all dressed in Pink. Generally a bride can happily make all her bridesmaids wear the same colour. When you however demand that the entire female church body wear Pink you definitely have stepped over the line into neurotic Bridezilla territory.

Thanks!

A "thanks for dinner" email got me a "your [sic] welcome sweety [sic]" email. How sad is that??

Rude is funny

I just find rude people funny sometimes. Like the woman at lunch time that said "Watch out!" in a friendly tone of voice as she was coming through a crowded hallway instead of "Excuse me please!"

Oh yes, we will watch out where you are walking!

Squash Pro

Last year my sister played squash for the first time ever. She came home and told us she was considering turning Pro.

I played squash for the first time on Friday. Then I went out and bought a racket, a ball and eye shield. I'm considering that after my squash butt thaws I might become a Pro squash player.

You're welcome!

One of the middle managers sent a few of us a thank you note that was 10 days after the fact. I think that's when you realize that they're sending you a message about how important you really are to them.

Myth Busting

Despite the fact that the building maintenance guys have thrown fruit loops and rice on the stairs and parking lot around our building, it is, in fact, a MYTH that uncooked rice will make pigeons pop when they eat it.

http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/birdrice.asp

The fruit loops are still unknown.

Water slides!

I hit every slide in the WaterPark in West Ed yesterday -- it's still was as much fun as when I was 10, and the line-ups are still as long as when I was 10.

Patently Silly

Patently Silly

Indecision

In a course I took last week it was pointed out to me that cell phones really have made our society into a group of indecisive co-dependants. It's true too "Hi, I'm in Safeway, did you want skim milk or whole? Brown bread or white? What do you want for supper, pizza or spaghetti?"

Normally my cell is off because it's for MY convenience, not anyone else's. Truthfully, I can't do more than one thing at one time and I really don't care to hear from people while I'm on the bus or in the grocery store.

I wish I'd thought of this...

Pessimistic Valentines.

Random Worksheet Question

Circle the point on the line that best describes how you felt before you came to this session.

I TOTALLY DID NOT WANT TO COME

I WASN'T SURE IF I REALLY WANTED TO COME

I WANTED TO COME

I have a dirty mind.

Homestaw-runner!

How does anyone on the internet not know about Homestarrunner already??

Oh, and Diana says JibJab too.

Smart man

Someone very smart said:

My personal goals are not really grande... I don't care for fame or fortune. I want to be a good man, with a strong faith and family. Everything else is gravy.

Clip this!

A woman in a meeting I was at today started clipping her nails in the middle of the financial report.

That has to be the grosses thing I've ever encountered... I'm creeped out by the fingernail clippings going into the carpet and the sheer rudeness of ignoring the speaker and meeting going on. Obviously our meeting was interferring with her personal hygiene routine. How dare we!!

Bored to tears

I've got nothing to do. I've had nothing to do practically all week. You'd think I'd be over-joyed, but not so much.

www.dilbert.com
www.blingo.com
www.singingfish.com

Who ever yells loudest wins

That was the theme of a meeting I was in from 8:30 to 3pm. No lunch break.

So many people feel so very passionately about something that really doesn't affect them in the least. It was an all day shout-fest.

Then, trying to stick my nano's ear-bugs into my ears, I accidentally whipped one into my eye... it's been that kind of day, all day.

Invisible

Although as a kid I thought invisibility would be a good power to possess, I am less and less convinced it would be a good thing except if it were coupled with immortality or the power to pass through solid objects.

Last night out for a walk I nearly got run over twice in an intersection by two male drivers. It was a lit intersection; I had reflective striping on my coat; they could see me. In fact the one guy even gave me a smile as he nearly drove over my toes.

I've started considering wearing a sign on my front and back like on a picket line, but my picket would say "CAUTION: PEDESTRIAN!" on the front and on the back (since I usually get run over from behind) "I THROW ROCKS AT CARS".

I've heard you can report these people for reckless driving to the police and they'll get a ticket after the fact... I'm going to start doing that.

Just in case

Just in case anyone cares to keep track of my food dislikes -- my main one is SOUP. I dislike soup a lot, with the exception of tomato soup, borscht, and split pea. I don't love stew all that much either.

Committment issues

One of my character flaws is that I over-commit. If I plan something, I follow through. If I make friends with a person, I'll do my best to focus a lot of time and energy on maintaining a good relationship. If I schedule a meeting, I will be there. If I promise to do something, I will do it.

I'm getting kind of bummed out about how many people cancel -- even at work people who get out of meetings because they forget or don't care or are too busy. I don't have any respect or patience for people who get home and then "don't feel up to going out again."

Email difficulties

There are some people in this world that want to annoy you or make your life difficult. Thankfully they are easily recognized when they email you... here's my favourites:

1. Inline responses.

You write:

Hello there,
Just wondering if you are free for dinner on Saturday -- what would you like to do? Dinner? Movie? Skating?

Also I'm wondering if you're still in contact with what'ser name from school? The blonde with the big teeth? I need her phone number, if you've got it.
Sincerly and thanks, from me.

You get back what looks like the same message, yep the response part is blank and there is your sig at the bottom of the note:

To: you
From: me
Date: sometime
Subject: RE:plans






---- original message -----
From: me
To: you
Date: before the second message
Subject: plans

Hello there,
Just wondering if you are free for dinner on Saturday OK -- what would you like to do? Dinner? OK Movie? Good Skating?

Also I'm wondering if you're still in contact with what'ser name from school? The blonde with the big teeth? I need her phone number, if you've got it. OK
Sincerly and thanks, from me.

2. People who forward jokes. Urban legends. Etc.

Generally this group can be annoying or not at all annoying. They are only not annoying if they're sending you something new.

These things annoy me:

• if they're forwarding you something that everyone has already seen several times since the dawn of internet time, or that you sent THEM and they just didn't even notice where it came from in their excitement to pass it on.


• if they're sending you a story and the subject is all in caps which says THIS IS REALLY TRUE!!! without realising that 100 exclamation points does not make it true


• They send you an email that says: Note forwarded message attached. And you have to go and open someone else's message(s)


• Anything in powerpoint


• Anything with midi music


• Anything with cheesy prayers or dancing emoticons or floaty-cloud or rose pictures


• Anything with a background, notepaper or Comic Sans MS font


• Anything that says something special will happen if you forward it to 10 of your friends


• Anything that says something bad will happen if you don't forward it within 10 minutes to all of your friends

3. Forwards with hundreds of email addresses to scroll through.

4. Or ------ original message ------
upon ------ original message ------
to scroll past before you get to the cheesy forwarded prayer with a rose that blooms, fades, and all the petals fall off.

First day of work

Ever been embarrassed on the first day of a new job? I'm sure everyone has. I get sung to as soon as I am introduced at a new place. Usually that's more annoying than ebarrassing, though some people have voices they should be embarrassed about.

Today we had three new people start. Two men in a department of writers and a woman who looks after the phones at the front desk. I went around to introduce myself to the two men with my Social Club buddy and we told them our names, asked them theirs, and told them where we sat and what we did all day. Very interesting stuff. The admin staff was standing by adding in her two cents. (Not that it was required.) She's a woman I love to hate. In fact on Friday I hated her particularly and spent all weekend kicking myself for letting the weasel get me down.

Anyhow, after we covered what we do, my Social Club buddy and I mentioned that an afternoon coffee is happening this Friday afternoon. Inexplicably the theme is Pets and you're to bring in a photo of your family pet. We mentioned this to the new guys. One lamented the fact that he has no pets while the other said his roommates have pets, so by extension they're sort of his. He was going to bring in a picture.

"Just bring in a picture of yourselves..." says the helpful admin staff, "I mean, you probably pet yourselves, so that works." Social Club buddy and I stared at the floor. Or the ceiling. I can't remember which. The two new guys flushed red. "Oops, that came out wrong, what I meant to say was..." says the admin. My buddy says "Ok just stop. I think we should stop talking now" and leaves.

Spelling hate

5. Using too instead of two. Real live example: "Try too" meaning: Try #2. Second try.

Spelling Hate

I have another entry into my spelling list of shame.

#4. Using to instead of too.

Infuriating

I become absolutely livid when someone tells me to do something... that I'm just about to do. The minute she puts her fork down after supper my Grandma lies in wait for the next person to finish to make a move -- and any sort of shifting will result in a get-it-in-there-quick reproach, "if you're getting up you should take my plate too." Even if you're just getting up to get a glass of milk or shifting to the other cheek. It's not like we don't clear the table every single night after dinner...

Also infuriating are those people who tell you to do something and give you specific instructions, detail upon detail, but you already know all the details. All I want to do is yell "bla bla bla bla bla!!! shut up shupthuptshpup! gaaa!"

Eloquent, huh?

Worst is when someone gives you specific details, specific instructions, and has no clue what they've just asked you to do. No understanding at all. Like posting a form someone's supposed to fill in electronically in pdf format so they can't change any of the fields. Hmm, but we haven't got the technology to produce Adobe Forms, so they'll have to print off the form, write on it in pencil and fax it back. Brilliant--you're an idiot. How about you let me tell you what I can do for you?

Electric Blanket

I think I need one to keep my feet warm at night.

Night of Romance

Looks like my night of Valentine's Day romance will be a few of my colleagues, some chips, some cookies and Sponge Bob Square Pants on the XBox. Whoo!

Coffee

For the longest time I didn't drink coffee, and for two years since I've been at my current job I do drink it. Pretty much daily. Except I make lousy coffee. Everyone knows it. Good thing we don't have a coffee maker at work but only a Starbucks.

So here's a belated New Year's resolution: I do solemly swear I will perfect my techniqe for brewing a perfect cup of coffee. Because I got a tiny four-cup coffee maker as a present for my office cubicle.

Municipal Affairs

I just got a call from someone at the dept. of Municipal Affairs who sounded very official who had a question for me or someone in my department regarding regulating pet cemeteries...

"...um, I think you have the wrong number."

I love picky eaters

I overheard my boss trying to organize food for a lunch meeting recently where she kept saying "and what's in that? any gelatin? any animal by-products?" She was organizing lunch and trying to accommodate the Executive Director of HR who's a Vegan. So that means even salads are chancey -- even organic salads with organic salad dressings because they may be sweetened with honey, and that is an animal by-product. This is a woman, btw, who wears leather pants without any quandary, but apparently has a problem eating honey.

Grandpa wearing a helmet

Saw a guy on the bus this evening wearing an old-school style bicycle helmet. Decided when I grow up I want to be known as the Grandma who wears a pith helmet every where she goes.

Mouthwash

I recently finished what seemed like a four litre jug of Scope. It was massive. It took years to finish. Why do they only sell mouthwash in huge bottles? Do they think people drink it? ... oh. Right.

Well, I don't.

Food issues

I am SO tired about hearing about people's food issues. I think it's because I actually remember what people like or don't like; maybe it's the German hostess in me. My gosh, I even remember what a girl I worked with almost 8 years ago wouldn't eat on pizza. I know that an IT guy I worked with 2 years ago wouldn't eat any "fruit" -- only veggies on pizza. I remember the girl who sat across from him wouldn't eat an olive, ever, and wouldn't eat any food that had touched an olive. Fear of "olive juice" I called it.

And so now I'm working for a vegetarian, and not only a regular vegetarian, but an all-out health food nut, and another woman who eats crap like pizza or chips for lunch. Every single afternoon I hear about the vegetarian not being full an hour after lunch and complaints from the chips lady who falls asleep at her desk because of carbohydrate coma. Regularly both of them complain about sugar comas and tiny pieces of chocolate giving them stomach aches, etc.

SHUT UP!!!

Crying

...so there I was in Roy's office and the sun was totally shining into my eyes, and then I got a scratch in my throat, and then I coughed but it didn't go away and I didn't want to sit there hacking, but it was really scratching, and then my eyes started watering from trying not to cough, but only one eye and all of a sudden Roy said "oh my goodness are you crying?" and I totally WAS but only out of one eye! I told him that it wasn't him or the sun or the sad looking poster we were discussing but a scratch in my throat. When I got back to my desk my nose started running in just the one nostril on the side where my eye was crying... so weird.

Staples

I wonder why scientists and inventors can put people on the moon and still not figure out how to make a stapler that doesn't jam.

Office fun

www.comcastic.com

Erectile Dysfunction

First thing this morning I was putting away my knapsack and getting settled in my cube. I had my back turned as my boss popped her head into my cubicle and said "Your erectile dysfunction..." I turned around and loudly said "I do NOT have erectile dysfunction!" thinking "what the heck?" in my head. She had this funny shocked look on her face as she stared blankly at me. I heard stifled giggling from the cube next to mine.

Turns out she had said "THOSE erectile dysfunction..." and wanted to continue with "...spam emails we're getting are becoming more obscene" before I got all defensive. The lady in the cube next to mine had a great laugh at our expense this morning.

Overdone

You know what's overdone? The tiny little nose piercing on white girls. Every second girl has one.

What's underdone -- nose piercings on guys.

Thank-you for...

...making me laugh. I love funny things that store clerks say.

In the summer, while in a drug store in the States with my friend, we asked a clerk for some help. After providing it we thanked her very much for her trouble and she said "uh-huh!" in a high pitched voice instead of 'you're welcome.' It was very amusing to me. For the rest of the trip I mimicked her "uh-huh!"

Today in the dollar store we asked a clerk if they carried blow up pool toys like water wings, and she went "uh..." and looked like she was going to direct us to the right section of the store, but then she decided she had no idea and said "...ah, I don't get it."

"I don't get it." Instead of "what do you mean?" or "what?" or my favourite "huh?"

"Blow up stuff," we said, "for the pool, like crocodiles or sharks or water wings."

"Oh! No we don't have anything like that."

Gizoogle

This Gizoogle is so funny -- I think it's quite random, as every time I've checked it to have another closer look it seems to have new words and the first time Diana (who sent it to me) looked at it there weren't any swears...

The funniest is our work website, of course, which is legitimately drug and alcohol related. I nearly peed myself when it translated the "for women" section as "for bitchez".

What do you think she's saying?

Click to watch: T shirt folding

Sean think she's saying,

"Men are such jerks. They never do their laundry. Worse yet, they never fold their T-shirts. If even one man learns how to fold his T-shirts as a result of this tutorial video, the world will be a better place. It's probably too much to hope they'll learn to fold their T-shirts as neatly as I'm folding this one, but even a badly folded T-shirt is better than an unfolded T-shirt."

Both Tannis and Diana were like "oh I saw that on Martha Stewart the other day!"

Oh yeah!?

I was waiting to cross the street with Diana at lunch. A woman in a truck and on a cell phone nearly drove over about 20 of us who were all waiting to cross the street, obviously distracted, and not paying attention to the fact that she's driving downtown where there are a lot of people out due to the nice weather. We all stopped in our tracks and hoped we wouldn't be driven over -- I had been in midsentence and I grabbed Diana's arm and changed my sentence to "oh what is this IDIOT doing?" As I said IDIOT the woman looked up and saw all of us and stepped on her brakes and saw me say IDIOT...

She had stopped though, so we all walked on. When I got back to the office, Mike (former army guy who now works with us) had been coming across the street opposite us, said that the woman interrupted her phone call, rolled down her window and yelled some thing at my back. I didn't hear her due to traffic, but he said that he gave her a dressing down for being in the crosswalk, for being on a cell phone and for not watching for pedestrians. I'm not sure why I think that's so funny... I just do. If she swore at me and I had heard it I don't think I would have done anything.

I think Mike saw me the last time I nearly got run over when I kicked a car too.

That tingly feeling

Some days I get a pins-and-needles kind of feel in the back of my head. It's like my spidey-senses are tingling.

Maybe I have a tumor.

Chopstix are for Germans!

Tee hee!
http://www.randomshirts.com/productinfo/chopstix.htm

Tuque

Tuque is one of those quintessential Canadian words. No one really knows how to spell it. Outlook says: SEE Canada - accessories. Ha ha!

Today I won a tuque from yellowpencil, or rather, Brian won it and gave it to me. This guy Paul talked to us at the session today. He was interesting. Especially when I looked at his website.

Mush

I couldn't be mushy if you paid me -- unless I actually felt something for someone...

This was a crazy week. Yesterday afternoon a woman from our team popped into my cube and asked if I would be willing to copy 1 training video CD 100 times. It would help them out a lot. Usually they got IT to do the mundane task for them.

I let her know that we could but it would probably be more cost effective time and resources-wise to let a reproduction company copy the CDs.

In my head I was thinking "What?? Nonononoooo!! Never. Not in a million years! Just NO."

Stunned

Just this past week someone used the line "You might be my missing bone" in an attempt to hit on me. In the amount of time that it took me to process the statement and then process the fact that I'd just been hit on, the moment had past.

Sad really.

Someone else told me today that he thought the comment deserved a slap. Didn't think that it was appropriate to use the word "bone" in a pick up line with a woman.

Woo!

I now have sleep-related bruxism.

NOTE!! Full-moon on Saturday

I've been noticing the crazies since TUESDAY.

House

Conversation in lunchroom today:

J: "...what I really like and am looking for is a bungalow."
R: "oh yeah, what do you like about a bungalow?"
J: "well the fact that there aren't stairs, so you're not running up and downstairs all the time."
P: "or you could look at a bi-level."
J: "is that where there are stairs right at the entrance? yeah, those are nice too. maybe a bi-level."
T: "or a split, some are three- or four- or five-level splits, the flights of stairs are not whole flights."
J: "yeah, a split would be ok. Or a two-story is nice too."

Oh good J, glad we could help you, we finally narrowed down your search criteria to: HOUSE.

Smells like a stale pillow to me

Some people don't shower everyday. Some people claim that this helps their hair to stay shinier, and it's healthier for their bodies to not wash off the essential oils off their dry skin every day. "I can do it," they say, "My skin and hair look better, and I don't smell!" they claim.

If you are such a person, maybe YOU can't smell yourself -- but I can. You smell like stale pillow. Stale pillow on a good day, and stinky, rank garlic pillow on bad days.

I CAN SMELL YOU!

Chocolate Advents Calendars

I'm not sure if anyone else was as amused as I was by my chocolate (schlocklit, as my cousin Toby calls it) Advents Calendar which this year was WAWI brand.

Every door I opened didn't correspond with the picture on the chocolate hidden behind it. Rather, it corresponded inversely with the pictures displayed in the row that it came from. Make sense?

To explain: if I opened door 3, the right picture would have been behind door 2, and door 2's chocolate corresponded with 3. The 1 and the 4 pictures belonged to the other chocolate. Anyhow, nevermind, that's a poor explaination but it doesn't matter.

Imagine my surprise to open December 10th's door and to see a pair of dildos etched in chocolate, when it should have been Santa's face, and have to wait until Dec 24 to find out that it may in fact have been some weird... bowling thing.

Any ideas what it is??

Plastic Wrap

The house party I was at last night was hosted at an older couple's house because they had enough room for a chocolate fountain and foosball tables and air hockey tables, etc. At some point I noticed the family room tv remote control was covered in plastic wrap... "that's a little odd" I thought to myself.

I brought it up as an oddity in a conversation this morning with my cousin who said "oh, that's so that no crumbs get into the remote and also the plastic wrap will help keep the writing on the remote buttons, for play, rewind, etc."

I should have known better than to bring it up with the cousin that travels with her own flat sheets.

Family Therapy

After all the family togetherness this season I think it might be appropriate to get some therapy.

But I guess I'll wait until after New Year's when the next batch of family arrive.

Abgelutscht

Oh what fun it is to be... abgelutscht on a staircase by an Oma. Last night at church this Oma I know only slightly was kissing and slobbering all over my cheek. In my revulsion and panic to get away I nearly pushed the old lady down the stairs. Staircase kissing isn't very safe.

Nano!

Nano nano nano nano nano!!! I love my iPod Nano!

You'd think they'd want money

Third only to phone/cell phone companies and banks in the "Unhelpful and annoying customer service phone lines" are utility companies I found out today. You'd think they want money for services provided, but not only can banks not add your utility to your list of billers online, and not only do their websites not accept online payments, neither do their customer service lines!! Yep. That's right, tried the bank online, drove to an ABM, tried online again, tried their website and nothing. Called them and the helpful guy told me that unless my power was being cut off they couldn't process a payment for me.

List # 10047: Spelling mistakes I HATE.

If you know me at all, you know I love lists. Here's one I have always had in the back of my brain.

Spelling mistakes I HATE:

1. Definately
2. Alot
3. of coarse

Look familiar?

Coughing and Sneezing

People who have hacking attacks are so annoying. I can't even convey how much subconcious anger I feel when people get a coughing fit.

Same goes for loud explosive sneezes.

not as smart as me.

I am a true skeptic. If I'm talking to someone, I always start with the assumption that the other person is a total dork.

Usually, I'm right.