Friday, December 17, 2004
Not much new...
Nothing new here.
Nothing to see.
Carry on.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Weebl and Bob and Pie
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
Christmas Grinch
Blackcurrant Gummies
I love gummies!!
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Happy Windsday
Monday, November 29, 2004
What will they think of next?
New for Thanksgiving -- Green Bean Casserole Soda, Mashed Potato & Butter Soda, Fruitcake Soda, Cranberry Soda and Turkey & Gravy Soda.
Check it out.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
More than anything
Good thing for the wayback machine.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
If they didn't pay me
Happily, I've had as much to do in the first 10 days of November as September and October combined.
I say happily as I've been released from doing mundane look-busy-work which is more taxing on the brain. Only because it's harder to hide personal emailing behind look-busy-work than actual work.
Monday, November 08, 2004
It's all fun and games...
Or $100,000.00.
Or their mind.
Looking for apartments this weekend was interesting. Poking through a stranger's house and looking at the pictures on their fridge, wondering why they removed the closet doors and put their bed into the closet.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Friday, September 24, 2004
I have password rage, and I really can't be responsible for so many passwords in my condition. It's kind of like short-term memory loss, but really more like long-term obscure remembering ability and short-term forgetting ability. It's very rare and serious and usually happens when I meet new people or get a new password... I know it's all very confusing to you, but I'm serious. My backgammon game with my friend is just not really that much of a secret, so if we could just cut it out with the passwords I'd feel better about myself.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Friday, August 20, 2004
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
I'm reading a book about finding the love of your life. It's silly and I am enjoying it immensely. It's the kind of drivel you'd expect and it's completely moronic and yet totally common sense advice. The first chapter deals with eliminating the seven most prevalent causes of faulty mate selection. It was pedestrian, so I'll spare you.
In the second chapter, it recommended forming a mental image of your future spouse. One of the points to consider is intelligence. "No one wants to marry someone well below them in intelligence. But you may not want to marry a genius either. Sometimes, a potential mate is too intelligent. Or maybe he is smart in ways that make him a bad match for you. What kind of intelligence do you want your future mate to have?"
Another point is appearance. "While it would be foolish to base your decision too heavily on appearance, your individual tastes should be considered when formulating the image of your perfect person. You must settle on your own preferences... Determine a look you will be pleased with."
Other points to consider were ambition, chemistry, spirituality, character, creativity authenticity, and others, all discussed in nauseating detail.
The kicker was that to start off this lame chapter the author wrote:
"So my challenge to you is to become all that you are capable of becoming. At the same time I encourage you to look squarely at yourself and appraise your overall attractiveness accurately. But remember this: It's probably best to search for someone who seems to be a little above you -- and then to try with all you have to become the person who will be attractive to that individual."
In a nutshell the deal to getting yourself mated up is -- find someone you're attracted to, find out what kinds of people they're attracted to, (as far as appearance and personality) then become the person that they would be attracted to, forgoing your own personality and changing your appearance to be as little like yourself as possible, thereby basing your entire relationship on fraudulent evidence of yourself.
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Library Romance -- I want to make up a story and submit it, tee hee!
Actually... reflecting upon it, I'm sad that working in libraries nothing like that has happened to me. Sort of. Well, it's not like I work in a traditional library or with regular library patrons. Good thing too, since some homeless people that hang out in regular libraries all day. And it's kind of embarrassing to be flirting with the library patrons in my job, since it's the same 150 people that are in the company and I'd have to see them all the time. (Not that it's stopped me...)
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Things I think you should not do
You should not name a baby girl Berry. Or worse yet, Berri.
Or a boy Leslie or Ashley. I just think you shouldn't.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
The Office
I watched the second season of The Office, the BBC comedy that everyone is talking about. I had so much anxiety about the situation that I nearly had to turn it off.
It hits too close to home.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I didn't want to know
To start off this update, some information about me: I'm usually a bear in the morning -- but I'm fairly civil unless spoken to. I generally don't like people on busses or at bus stops, although they usually give me ample material to laugh and write about.
Today I get out to my bus stop and the one guy I actually don't mind saying "good morning" to is already standing there. Usually we say "good morning" to each other and then he gives me a brief weather report. He is a Newfie and fixated on weather reports. I'm not sure where he gets these weather reports because they all contain forecasts of rain. I am pretty sure he doesn't like sun and suffers from bad-news-glee. That concludes our limited conversation and I can go back to sleeping with my eyes open, standing up, waiting for the bus.
Anyhow, today I said to him: "Good morning."
He pokes his finger into his nose and says "I've got a pimple right under my nose, and it's driving me nuts!!"
Monday, July 12, 2004
Found two quarters today!
You know what? That's fine. Don't tell me and I'll continue to pick up everyone's dimes everywhere I go. I'm raking in the dough, 10 cents at a time!
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Bus fun
Another day on the bus, more people that smell like urine.
And a funny poem on the morning bus. See it here.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Choir practice is not cancelled
I've been so excited because choir practice was cancelled this week... I told everyone I know.
Then I got an email: "There seems to be some confusion about whether or not there is practice this Tuesday (July 6) - as I mentioned at last week's practice, there will be a practice this week. I would really appreciate it if you could make it."
Poop.
Friday, July 02, 2004
Found: One American Quarter
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
The Yeti Chair
After I had disposed of it I had a flashback to my first day of work.
It happened like this: I was introduced to coworkers and shown to my cubicle. Only to find the Yeti had been turned into a chair and banished to Edmonton, Alberta, living my cube. Removing the hair required a pair of scissors and a certain amount of company time. It was like shearing a sheep -- every couple of days I'd have to do it again because it seemed to grow out of the stuffing.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Stinky bus people (still bug me)
There's an awful person on the morning bus of a certain ethnicity who seems to have stomach problems. I say -- "it seems" and "awful" only because I'm fairly certain that the occasional smells of putrid gasses seem to emanate from this one person, quite awfully so. By "occasional" I mean regularly frequently, maybe every two minutes or so.
Today this person sat directly behind me and not only proceeded to emit gasses but eat carrots and chew with an open mouth for the entire ride.
I know!!
I mean, really! Carrots for breakfast?? What was this person thinking!?
Monday, June 28, 2004
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Friday, June 25, 2004
The average person loses between 100 and 200 hairs from their head every day. And I have started worrying about this.
I gave up my library card a long, long time ago, partially because it disgusted me to be reading a book and to find someone else's hair in the book. Especially if it was a stupid book. The other reasons I gave up my card had something to do with my inability to return books on time and my unwillingness to read a bestseller after 34 people ahead of me on the waiting list had all read it. By the time I get books from the library, someone usually has smeared chocolate cake into the margins, slobbered all over the corners while flipping pages, and dropped it in the bath. (Ok, ok, so I have more issues than just hair... but nobody should ever lick their finger to turn a page. Ever. Especially not with a book for public use.)
Anyhow, back to my hair phobia. Recently, on the bus, a woman with long dark hair sat down in front of me. I noted that she had filthy, greasy, dirty hair. I further noted that one single hair was hanging out a little bit further than the rest... and for the next five minutes I was mesmerized watching this hair grow longer and longer until finally, with a sudden lurch of the bus, it was deposited into my lap. I had to fight an instant gag reflex.
Today, again on the bus, I had my eyes closed and one strand of someone's hair flew into my face. I think the lady next to me thought I was crazy --flapping and waving my arms around and pulling at my nose -- going "pffft! bbbbbffffffffft!! pfffftt!"
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Ich bin ein Berliner!
Speaking of identifying persons of ethnicity, today at the bus stop there was a man who was German. Without a doubt.
How, do you ask, do I know he was German? Was it the German-style haircut -- short on the bottom and longer over the thinning top? Was it the funny German-style pull-over-the-head pullover with the stand-up collar? Was it the cream coloured brand-new Levi Red Tab jeans? Was it the fact that his face was so angular that not only his nose came to a point, but his jawbone came to a point and his chin came to even more of a point? His ice-cold light blue eyes? The way he could sleep anywhere, even on a hot, bumpy, smelly bus? The way he wore his backpack?
Anyone of those things may have tipped me off, however all combined it was like wearing a flag, "Jawohl, Ich bin ein German!"
If I see him tomorrow I'll confirm it.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Friday, June 18, 2004
On my way back to lunch today, I was lost in a sea of short Japanese tourists in our lobby. What, do you ask, were they doing there? I am not sure. They may have been lost.
How, do you ask, do you know they were Japanese tourists?
floppy hats -- check
funny short pants -- check
white plastic runners -- check
cameras & video equipment -- check, check
grandmother in tow -- check
big white tour bus with tinted windows dropping them off -- dead give away.
Also, they were absolutely in the way of everyone who belonged in the building.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Monday, May 24, 2004
Typing School
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Character Reference
Complete the following sentences. For added fun have the person you're doing the character reference for sitting in front of you.
The applicants' character can be described as _________ .
The applicants' reputation can only be described as __________.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Except I can hear him whining. About not having an office.
Monday, May 10, 2004
Character
I, however, have nothing leftover for boring people.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
I've tried not to dwell on that fact. I'm also trying to remember that all the junk in my cubicle at work is stuff she probably planned to work on and didn't get to.
Saturday, April 24, 2004
I want to put you in Punctuation Jail for misusing punctuation so very liberally. Why do you do it??!? It's so hard to read when every other sentence ends in either two or three exclamation points or question marks!!! And the others trail off in a flurry of ellipses... Darn you for annoying me...
Friday, April 23, 2004
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Monday, April 19, 2004
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Friday, April 09, 2004
Some website I was reading on synchronicity and seriality mentioned the word incouciant... which is a word I just discovered and has been making the rounds in about every book I've read in the past weeks, which strangely enough is totally about seriality...
"For instance, someone rolls off a particularly mellifluous sounding word in conversation, "insouciant," that piques your curiosity but you have no idea of its meaning. Shortly after hearing it the first time, you read it in a book, someone else uses it in conversation-and someone else. This clustering of the word "insouciant" is an example of Kammerer's notion of seriality, and for Kammerer, much to his critic's disagreement, this patterning was not random but meaningful."
So I had to look up mellifluous too... which means:
1. Flowing with sweetness or honey.
2. Smooth and sweet: “polite and cordial, with a mellifluous, well-educated voice”
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Courtesy of my best friend:
"I don't really care how time is reckoned so long as there is some agreement about it, but I object to being told that I am saving daylight when my reason tells me that I am doing nothing of the kind. I even object to the implication that I am wasting something valuable if I stay in bed after the sun has risen. As an admirer of moonlight I resent the bossy insistence of those who want to reduce my time for enjoying it. At the back of the Daylight Saving scheme I detect the bony, blue-fingered hand of Puritanism, eager to push people into bed earlier, and get them up earlier, to make them healthy, wealthy and wise in spite of themselves."
(Robertson Davies, The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks, 1947, XIX, Sunday.)
Friday, April 02, 2004
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Monday, March 22, 2004
I stopped to talk to a homeless person last week who had a small brass statue of an elephant on his tray where he was collecting coins from passersby. I asked him what the elephant was for and he shrugged, but when I turned to walk away he called me back and very seriously asked me if I could please get everyone to stop killing the elephants.
Here is my attempt to get the word out: Hey everybody, please stop killing the Elephants!
Thanks.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Saturday, March 13, 2004
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Monday, March 08, 2004
Friday, March 05, 2004
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Yes, I could show off all of my stuff! "Here is where I keep the mismatched set of yellow and orange towels my mom got for her wedding from Aunt So-and-so that she never liked and never used, and over here I keep my stylish 70s tupperware sets, all discards from a sympathetic female relative! Have a seat in my mismatched chairs and sofa.
Please have pity on me and leave money in the fruit bowl on the counter on your way out..."
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Monday, February 23, 2004
Let's just say after almost three hours of speeches, no one wanted to be there anymore, except for possibly the bride and groom.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Monday, February 16, 2004
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
I probably have a magpie in me somewhere...
Monday, February 09, 2004
The 401 didn't leave right away as it was picking up an inordinate amount of people. She finally decided that it had stood at the stop long enough and tried shooing it. "Go on, scat! Get out of here!"
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Sunday, February 01, 2004
FLIP FLOP
SEASONS OVER
NATURE BOY
I wondered for a month or two what kind of pathetic haiku that was. Just now it occured to me that if you were to write it in mixed lowercase and added some punctuation it would make sense this way "Flip-flop season's over, Nature Boy." (i'm not sure about the apostrophe.) Ok, an ad that takes me a couple of months to figure out is not an effective ad.
Saturday, January 31, 2004
Friday, January 30, 2004
Clearly, I have issues.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
I'd make a good express line checker. "I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to take your purchases to another till. See here this bag of mushrooms? Yeah, uh huh, there are at least ten in this bag plus your box of eight granola bars... that's eighteen items, please be considerate of other shoppers next time!
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Oh, and that idea about keeping one foot extended a bit and leaning back so that the person doesn't infringe on your space because your foot is in it? Fallacy. It doesn't work.