First day of work

Ever been embarrassed on the first day of a new job? I'm sure everyone has. I get sung to as soon as I am introduced at a new place. Usually that's more annoying than ebarrassing, though some people have voices they should be embarrassed about.

Today we had three new people start. Two men in a department of writers and a woman who looks after the phones at the front desk. I went around to introduce myself to the two men with my Social Club buddy and we told them our names, asked them theirs, and told them where we sat and what we did all day. Very interesting stuff. The admin staff was standing by adding in her two cents. (Not that it was required.) She's a woman I love to hate. In fact on Friday I hated her particularly and spent all weekend kicking myself for letting the weasel get me down.

Anyhow, after we covered what we do, my Social Club buddy and I mentioned that an afternoon coffee is happening this Friday afternoon. Inexplicably the theme is Pets and you're to bring in a photo of your family pet. We mentioned this to the new guys. One lamented the fact that he has no pets while the other said his roommates have pets, so by extension they're sort of his. He was going to bring in a picture.

"Just bring in a picture of yourselves..." says the helpful admin staff, "I mean, you probably pet yourselves, so that works." Social Club buddy and I stared at the floor. Or the ceiling. I can't remember which. The two new guys flushed red. "Oops, that came out wrong, what I meant to say was..." says the admin. My buddy says "Ok just stop. I think we should stop talking now" and leaves.

Spelling hate

5. Using too instead of two. Real live example: "Try too" meaning: Try #2. Second try.

Spelling Hate

I have another entry into my spelling list of shame.

#4. Using to instead of too.

Infuriating

I become absolutely livid when someone tells me to do something... that I'm just about to do. The minute she puts her fork down after supper my Grandma lies in wait for the next person to finish to make a move -- and any sort of shifting will result in a get-it-in-there-quick reproach, "if you're getting up you should take my plate too." Even if you're just getting up to get a glass of milk or shifting to the other cheek. It's not like we don't clear the table every single night after dinner...

Also infuriating are those people who tell you to do something and give you specific instructions, detail upon detail, but you already know all the details. All I want to do is yell "bla bla bla bla bla!!! shut up shupthuptshpup! gaaa!"

Eloquent, huh?

Worst is when someone gives you specific details, specific instructions, and has no clue what they've just asked you to do. No understanding at all. Like posting a form someone's supposed to fill in electronically in pdf format so they can't change any of the fields. Hmm, but we haven't got the technology to produce Adobe Forms, so they'll have to print off the form, write on it in pencil and fax it back. Brilliant--you're an idiot. How about you let me tell you what I can do for you?

Electric Blanket

I think I need one to keep my feet warm at night.

Night of Romance

Looks like my night of Valentine's Day romance will be a few of my colleagues, some chips, some cookies and Sponge Bob Square Pants on the XBox. Whoo!

Coffee

For the longest time I didn't drink coffee, and for two years since I've been at my current job I do drink it. Pretty much daily. Except I make lousy coffee. Everyone knows it. Good thing we don't have a coffee maker at work but only a Starbucks.

So here's a belated New Year's resolution: I do solemly swear I will perfect my techniqe for brewing a perfect cup of coffee. Because I got a tiny four-cup coffee maker as a present for my office cubicle.

Municipal Affairs

I just got a call from someone at the dept. of Municipal Affairs who sounded very official who had a question for me or someone in my department regarding regulating pet cemeteries...

"...um, I think you have the wrong number."

I love picky eaters

I overheard my boss trying to organize food for a lunch meeting recently where she kept saying "and what's in that? any gelatin? any animal by-products?" She was organizing lunch and trying to accommodate the Executive Director of HR who's a Vegan. So that means even salads are chancey -- even organic salads with organic salad dressings because they may be sweetened with honey, and that is an animal by-product. This is a woman, btw, who wears leather pants without any quandary, but apparently has a problem eating honey.

Grandpa wearing a helmet

Saw a guy on the bus this evening wearing an old-school style bicycle helmet. Decided when I grow up I want to be known as the Grandma who wears a pith helmet every where she goes.

Mouthwash

I recently finished what seemed like a four litre jug of Scope. It was massive. It took years to finish. Why do they only sell mouthwash in huge bottles? Do they think people drink it? ... oh. Right.

Well, I don't.

Food issues

I am SO tired about hearing about people's food issues. I think it's because I actually remember what people like or don't like; maybe it's the German hostess in me. My gosh, I even remember what a girl I worked with almost 8 years ago wouldn't eat on pizza. I know that an IT guy I worked with 2 years ago wouldn't eat any "fruit" -- only veggies on pizza. I remember the girl who sat across from him wouldn't eat an olive, ever, and wouldn't eat any food that had touched an olive. Fear of "olive juice" I called it.

And so now I'm working for a vegetarian, and not only a regular vegetarian, but an all-out health food nut, and another woman who eats crap like pizza or chips for lunch. Every single afternoon I hear about the vegetarian not being full an hour after lunch and complaints from the chips lady who falls asleep at her desk because of carbohydrate coma. Regularly both of them complain about sugar comas and tiny pieces of chocolate giving them stomach aches, etc.

SHUT UP!!!

Crying

...so there I was in Roy's office and the sun was totally shining into my eyes, and then I got a scratch in my throat, and then I coughed but it didn't go away and I didn't want to sit there hacking, but it was really scratching, and then my eyes started watering from trying not to cough, but only one eye and all of a sudden Roy said "oh my goodness are you crying?" and I totally WAS but only out of one eye! I told him that it wasn't him or the sun or the sad looking poster we were discussing but a scratch in my throat. When I got back to my desk my nose started running in just the one nostril on the side where my eye was crying... so weird.

Staples

I wonder why scientists and inventors can put people on the moon and still not figure out how to make a stapler that doesn't jam.