The worst thing about all your friends marrying at the same time is when the all end up having kids at the same time. Three years ago it was all about the weddings, this year it's all about the kids. Three of my friends are pregnant -- two are due in the next month and one early in June. My cousin too, and a girl who is younger than me at our church. Two girls I can think of right now have had a baby less than a year ago. Ack...

I looked at couches at two places and can't decide if I am the "funky & unusual (and of undetermined quality) and no matching loveseat or chairs" couch that doesn't have any side arms but I could pair it with a leather bench and random cool chairs, or if I am the "detail oriented, good quality, super comfy couch with matching loveseat and lazy-boy chair that doesn't look like a lazy-boy" kind of person.

Clearly, I have issues.

Corner Gas. The funniest Canadian sitcom ever. You should watch.

Favorite joke to play on new people I meet (after I beat "How do you solve a problem like Maria" out of their heads) is to bring up the topic of last names and make an offhand remark about difficult names. All kinds of names come up and then eventually someone asks what mine is and I say "Oh, lots of people have difficulties with mine... it's German." And they're like "uh huh, and... are you going to tell us what it is?" Hahaha!!Right. Small things amuse small minds.

Today I contemplated a career in express line security. Honestly, the woman in the line up ahead of me didn't just have more than 15 items, she had enough food to cook a pot of soup for the homeless -- but it was skinny crazy diet woman food so I bet she wasn't cooking for the homeless. She was just being a rude line-up person.

I'd make a good express line checker. "I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to take your purchases to another till. See here this bag of mushrooms? Yeah, uh huh, there are at least ten in this bag plus your box of eight granola bars... that's eighteen items, please be considerate of other shoppers next time!

I met someone strange. He had this odd way of being really close in my personal space and every time I took a step back I wouldn't notice how, but he kept inching closer and closer. I was trying to figure out when he'd take a step closer or how he managed to move in to my space -- but it wasn't apparent, but it was almost disconcerting. Only "almost" because he was nice, didn't have bad breath or anything, but he was a little intense and had a funny smile that made me think he was a little crazy -- like fanatical about church kind of crazy. The Fantastical Joy of The Lord smile.

Oh, and that idea about keeping one foot extended a bit and leaning back so that the person doesn't infringe on your space because your foot is in it? Fallacy. It doesn't work.

Work is fun. (I'm so tired I can't think to write.)

Watched my shows, thought about what I will be missing next week when at work. Watched some more daytime tv, thought about moving off the couch. Decided against movement, watched more shows instead. Ate some lunch, watched some more shows. Flicked around and, surprisingly, found more shows to watch and didn't move until dinner. It's a hard life, but somebody's gotta do it.

Met KA for supper and realized that we're getting older. Third person to bug me about writing a book in a week. Saw a book at Chapters called Fat Girls and Lawn Chairs, or maybe it was Fat Girls in Lawn Chairs or something like that. Intriguing title. Had some interesting spam in my inbox today that also had great subject lines. Emailed with my BF today and had a discussion of interesting subject lines. Should think of something catchy for a title of a book that I will write. Thought about the concept: a title sells a book, who cares what's in it or what it's about.

Accepted job offer and so must put on hold the plans for homelessness. It's a shame because I would have been good at it. In my opinion the no.1 thing to remember when panhandling: be specifc, no one turns you down if you ask for a dollar, but they will if you ask for spare change.

Will have to postpone my idea to become a homeless person for a bit. I have a job interview on Monday.

Had a crabby morning trying to figure out how to ftp to a shaw account. I can get connected from the computer upstairs and transfer files, but not from my own computer and superior brand of internet connection.

Decided I should start wearing name tag "Hello, My Name is Maria. I am still a jobless bum."

Copy previous post for all the days in between this and before...