Then on my way home I got my camera out in time to chase this guy down to get a picture of his license plate... it reads IMA HOG -- so funny! 

Today: A life changing event.

Today: A life changing event. Went to a work conference and was the only person out of at least 500 who remembered my camera to get a picture of Stuart McLean! He kindly obliged the group that wanted to get in on my picture. After I said "Mister McLean, since I was the only one to remember my camera and I'm a huge fan would you be in a picture with just me?" and he said "sure! C'mere!" and grabbed me in a bear hug! Whoo!

Look at me fly!! 

Today I saw the Queen! And Ralph Klein! 

the oil refinery down the road blows up... or the sunset lights up the clouds orange and yellow. 

Fear

I'm going to Canadian Tire to buy some weed killing stuff smelling faintly like bacon...

Good morning sunshine! 

Sour cream

Today in a freak lunch-grabbing accident I took a tub of sour cream to work.

Surprisingly (for those of you who know me) I was disappointed when I got to work.

Here is our new silver thingy. It is attached to the toilet, thereby making it look like a space rocket. Very snazzy! 

I was looking at worksheet of potential slogans... how would you like to send your all important work to a place that advertises with a slogan like:

if you're not satisfied, we don't sleep well!

I just want to append that with "satisfied with us. in bed. at night." Ha ha!

20 variations on the innovation/quality/saving money/challenge thing such as:

• innovation is the rule/norm (I'd like to read it as "Innovation is the rule, Norm!")
• higher standards are the norm (yawn)
• innovation/quality is our edge (another slogan with a / how cute)
• quality and speed without compromise (that’s right! you get both so we can charge you more!)
• we have a will and a way (ooh, ambiguous and sort of threatening-scary!)
• quality that exceeds/excels! (dear customer, we can’t make up our minds, you’ll get one or the other!)
• working harder through innovation (what?)

actually the best (cheesiest) one is:

want to be entertained?
call a psychic.
want results?
call us today!

That had me laughing out loud. Ah, people trying hard are so amusing!

The perfectly horrible terrible no-good day.

Ok so here's the story of my perfectly horrible day:

Woke up early. Petted my cat. Cat peed on my leg. Yelled at cat. Showered. Had a terrible web day at work, random server and deletion problems I won't go into here but they were considerable and terrible. Went voting, got reprimanded for not having two pieces of ID with photo AND addresses (think about this... how much ID with your address do you carry?) and had to stand in long line-ups. Dinner with the family, no problems. After dinner driving along my window went down and wouldn't come back up. What else could go wrong??

That was my toe you caught your claw in, Minnow

Never play with the pointy end of a cat when you aren't wearing socks.

Oh my!

I got an email today from a woman I worked with up until last month. She and her husband moved to a city near the middle of this country. She emailed me to tell me that she was fine and that their new house was great and she is doing ok. And an incredibly funny story… I don’t think it was supposed to be funny, but it was to me.

She and her husband got lost coming driving into their new city at 3 am in their moving truck. They were both tired and cranky, and so was their dog. On some level I understand what would drive you to do what she did next, but on some level I can only shake my head. Instead of calling Information, that is 411, she dials 911 and asks for the phone number of a cab company. The helpful female operator gets to the bottom of this strange call and gives my dear former colleague minute directions -- and stays on the line until they get home. What they wanted with a cab company I’m really not sure, she didn’t say. Perhaps she expected a cab driver to come find them and then lead them home.

The funniest and scariest part of this story is the thought process that would let someone call 911 when they are lost.

I'm not laughing

A few weeks ago a woman was transferred to our floor and I remarked to someone that it will not be fun for us to have to listen to her horrible nervous laugh from now on. True enough our waking work hours have been haunted by machine-gunfire "ah-a-a-a-a-a" every few minutes or so. It's worse for me because I'm in the same cube farm as she is, besides the fact that nervous laughers irritate me.

Today riding up the elevator I overheard her telling someone "oh yes, that's me, the one with the horrible laugh..." and I was horrified. Wouldn't you do something about it if your laugh was horrible and you knew it?? Especially if you knew that others thought so too?? Needless to say I was not amused.

I was kind of shocked, wouldn't you try to laugh in a different way and see if you could train yourself? I would. First maybe I'd try tittering, then gufawing, then giggling, then belly-laughing. Eventually one of those would become a habit I'm sure.

Oh Humanity!

Today on the way to the bus stop on the way home someone from Amnesty International had stopped someone to get a donation from them. It was a very hairy man, on a very small bike, with absolutely no shirt covering his pot-belly, but who did however have a very large, fully stuffed backpack on his back.

I think Amnesty International should do something about shirtless wonders on bikes. Save us all.

At family lunch on Sunday, me and my bro were had... "what? there's a scratch on the lense??" 

Read me like a book

If I ever wrote a book and if it were about guys and interpreting signals, I think I'd have to point out all the idiotic little things they do that are a dead give away that they like you.

Like: showing you their scars, saying "hey you..."and telling you that they always like to do the rebel-thing. If I had a nickel for everytime someone told me they liked to do the rebel-thing, I'd be very, very rich.