You vant vaaatt???

Home Depot. A beautiful and competent Eastern European lady helping me in the paint department... she'd magically matched a colour I brought in from a stick I'd used to stir an old can of paint and I was stoked -- someone who could seriously help me! I had another can of old paint I sort of liked but had not enough of to do a whole room. So I asked her since she could match colour off a stir stick if she could also find a CIL brand-colour in her computer called "Prism White".

"You vant vaaatt colour?" in total confusion.
"Prism white. PRISM white" I attempted to enunciate very clearly, but to be honest it's a weird word.
Aghast: "PRISON??? PRISON VITE?"
"No! no! Prism, P-R-I-S-M"
"SM?? Em?? You sure?"
"Yes, P-R-I-S-M, a prism is a crystal that reflects light..."

Hahaha, but prison white would be awesome too...


Someone who did speak English did post this sign and of course it made me laugh to consider my rooms decorum.














But not as much as this boob light... it's a Madonna (circa 1980s) boob light!

10 things I don't like at all

1. Computers. My life now is one giant fail.
2. Painting. This is the worst of all the home fixing things I can think of.
   
3. Standing in steel toed boots all day.
4. Spam from people you know.
5. Exercise.
6. People with no common sense.
7. Economic recessions.
8. People with no small-talk social skills.
9. Cell phones when they drop calls.
10. PowerPoint (exception: if used in cases of irony.)
    

10 things I like a lot

1. Brussel sprouts
2. Sunshine
3. Cats
   
4. Spring
5. Cheese of any kind
   
6. Flowers
7. Yarn
8. Books
9. My Blackberry
10. Being the boss of everything
    

Also not ok

After dinner to pick up the cheque. I mean, to pick up the cheque while you're say "I can expense this!"

And you trust me for this??

So over the last year I have been the Project Lead for a new system at work that will greatly increase the speed at which we can provide two of our department's service offerings. It has recently been put into production which is super exciting for me because I designed it all from scratch. The concept, logic and design came out of my head which I then transferred to pieces of paper and gave off to people to build it for me.

Now it is in production and it is saving other people literally weeks of time on every project they do. That in itself makes me pretty happy. It's like seeing your child become both the smartest and most popular kid at school.

And then I think "Whoa, someone actually trusted me to directly influence how three-quarters of a million dollars is spent?!?!?"

It is not ok

• It is not ok to blame shyness on having absolutely no interest in other people and letting them talk for an hour and a half until they're completely hoarse and not only want to kill themselves but you first.
• It is not ok to blame shyness on having no coping strategy for making small talk with other adults who seem to have a lot in common with you.
• It is not ok to say "I don't drink coffee" when someone asks you if you want to go for coffee. (what are you, retarded? It's a conceptual metaphor! I don't care what you drink!)
• It is not ok to say "I work" when someone asks you what you do.
• It's not ok to follow that with "Downtown" or "In an office" when someone says "Oh I meant where do you work?"
• It's not ok to call someone 6 months after they have told you they are "too busy" to see if they have more free time now. Too busy, I'm washing my hair, I'm just not that into you = you suck, please drop dead.
  

Lunch

I know I probably shouldn't, but I find it terribly amusing that our department's director brings juice boxes for lunch. I wonder if he has a spiderman lunch box too!

Weird

I received a response from Shaw today that the CRTC ordered that each household phone line must be provided a white and a yellow pages. Thank you for being choosing Shaw, you can take up your complaint with the CRTC and with Yellow Pages directly.

Awesome! Yellow Pages site and 1-800 is totally not helpful (you can order another copy but not opt-out) and the CRTC just lists the order for everyone to get a white and yellow pages. Whereby and Whereas it has been Decreed in 1984 that everyone should love a personal copy of Ye Olde Telephone Directory.

I guess I am not the only person who is stymied from going green by old technology printers scared whitless for their jobs and of course, our favourite to hate: the Government.

I did my part, I emailed both the CRTC and Yellow Pages in protest. I think you should too.

Happy Earth Day!

On the Shaw website:

Making a difference for our planet today.
What are you doing to help?
Make a difference with Shaw on Earth Day April 22, 2009.

Here's what I submitted:

Dear Shaw Cable, I would like to make a difference with Shaw on Earth Day April 22, 2009 by protesting the fact that I received a yellow pages and a white from you this past month. I would like to opt out of receiving this archaic and bulky monstrosity which is deposited directly into the recycling anyway. Thank you.

Filed: in the trash

Some jerk walked in off the street to fill out a job application form which we don't do... We want resumes just like every other place.

Well, he had one.

But only one so our receptionist was going to take a copy and he said she should make him about five copies. What the hell!!? I told him that we'd take one copy for ourselves and he can copy them on his own if he needs others.

I don't care about the 5 cents it costs to print plus paper but if you're trying to get a job maybe you should be prepared to make a good impression?? Here's a tip: don't piss off the receptionist. Or me, if I'm standing nearby.

I made her file it alright.

Cyan

Called a supply company for a toner cartridge for a colour printer and the woman said "Which colour do you need, there's black, 'cai-anne', magenta and yellow."

I actually giggled out loud then started coughing to cover it up. Maybe she thinks cayenne and cyan are the same colour? Anyhow, I was ordering plain ol' black.

Is it home time??

i figured out how to look at the DHCP logs today.
i figured out how to link the AD to my firewall.
i guess I can go home now.

:brainfull:

Reply All

So I am sitting at my desk when someone sends out a test email (subject line "test", blank message body) to test the bulk mailers that send emails to the whole organization. A legitimate email.

Then one guy replied all: "Did I pass the test??"
Then another woman also replied all: "I’m not sure why I received it."
Then someone else replied all: "Test? There was a test? Nobody told me! Aaaaaggghhhh………"

Then another guy replied all: "Be careful when replying “All” This e-mail went out to the entire organization. As did James’."
Which is really what everyone else was thinking. But then HE replied all.
Half a second later he recalled his message.

people are idiots. just fyi.

oh ya, and all this took place in less than 5 minutes.
Do people not think before sending out emails anymore?

Walking

I walked past a lady not very much older than me carrying a walkman.

Mix tape?

Probably!

Error

Sometimes you have to laugh when someone tells you they can't print and you go and click buttons and something as stupid as this error message is thrown by the program that everyone loves to hate:

yield

Yes I will yield the right of way to the lady driving the mini-van and eating a burger!

Shampoo

Remember when the word "shampooing" on the bottle would make us laugh uncontrollably?