GOLD!

***I have to preface this post by saying this is not lame at all.***

I know I promised not to talk about my knitting obsession on this blog, and I normally don't but...

I joined the Ravelympics this year.

I picked my project and prepared my equipment.
Cast on right as they light the Olympic cauldron.

My event was Short Track Shawls with a side of Lace Luge.
I flexed my muscles mightily this week and hoped to achieve a great feat!

And I won gold!

I finished my event on Saturday morning, a mere 15 days after I started. I lost track of how many hours this took, but suffice it to say, this puppy would not be done unless I had NOT skipped going to the gym at least three times during the last two weeks.

So this is it... I'm done. Wearing it today. Loving the silk blend.
Shetland Triangle Lace Shawl
by Evelyn A. Clark
Knit Picks Gloss (Dusk) on 4.5mm. 
46 1/2” wingspan unblocked; blocked to 60”.
19 3/4” height unblocked; blocked to 26 1/2”.

What do I do now??

Are you joking?

I often get calls from only one single person at work who can't figure out whether or not they are allowed to delete spam that may slip through the filter into their inbox. They'll say "I got this email? And I'm not sure if it got sent to the right person? It's for our corporate anti-virus?" And I tell them "please delete it and anything like it. They will never email you about our corporate anti-virus. Seems suspicious and mis-addressed? It is. Think about it, why would they have your email instead of mine?"

Almost always they ask "Are you sure? Are you sure it's ok if I delete it?" YES, for crying out loud, for the sweet, sweet sound of not hearing my phone ring off the hook with stupid questions, Yes! YES! DELETE IT! And stop putting your work email out there in the internet for people to find! Stop posting on forums and stick to the work we give you! After a year at this job you'd think they'd pick up on my frustration and stop calling. (You'd think, but you'd be wrong.)

This person probably calls me two or three times a week and usually insists that I walk myself over to their area to inspect the computer and watch them delete it so I know they're doing it right. Because, by golly, doing this and everything else right is important, and it's imperative everyone knows that they are, in fact, doing it right.

He called again "I know you're really busy but... I have this email?" as if acknowledging the fact I might be irritated pardons the irritation itself.
Without hesitation I respond: "DELETE IT."
Whining now, since I've obviously I've hurt their feelings "well, this email... it's kind of a joke."
"A joke? You mean a hoax?! Well, delete that for sure! If you know it's a hoax, why are you asking me if you can delete it? Just go ahead and delete it!"
"Well actually, it's just a joke someone sent me. I thought you might like to read it, it's pretty funny, but I wanted to ask if I can forward it to you."

I wanted to ask: Do you have any idea how the internet works? It's a giant circle recycling bin. There is not much funny on the internet that I haven't already seen probably seven years ago.

It was sent. I eventually read it, deleted it and forgot about it.

Later on I get another phone call "Hey did you get that email I sent you?"

Blankity-blank

Hi,
You can have your employee log in to the system now. Their user ID is firstname.lastname > login the first time leaving password blank and they will be required to choose a password immediately.

Thanks,

etc.

We tried log in but it is requiring a password.  Are we doing this right?

Hi again,
Login the first time with no password at all, just username and hit enter, and they will be required to make a password immediately.

Please let me know,
etc.

Yay for flowers!

On my drive home on Friday with plantlets for home.

Noise Complaint

Today I have a very serious complaint.

I have had a headache off and on all day. That, however, is not my complaint.

My real complaint is that my mouse squeaks. (This, btw, does not in any way improve the headache situation.)

I'm sure you can all imagine the laughing that goes on when I voice my complaint: "*Chortle* Well, that's what they're supposed to do, isn't it?" Hardy Har Har. HI-LARious.

I suddenly have a new understanding for this poor chap.

Duplicity

There must be something reassuring about repeating oneself:

• "I would also like to say something as well..."
• "I am currently unavailable at the moment..."
• "Plus, included for free are..."

Reassuring or pompous sounding or just not paying attention?

Like a mouse

We have a receptionist/gate-keeper at our office, so when calls get transferred to my line there's no call display. Since I don't know who is calling I will almost always identify myself with "Maria speaking..."

Hilarity ensued when the confused caller said "Maria squeaking??"

Now my caller will joke daily "Maria sleeping? WAKE UP!"

No Food Touching Policy

There has been a recent attack on my no food touching policy on this blog.

I have long been persecuted for my fervent beliefs about no food touching. Of course I have always been ridiculed by my very own family but as the years went by I learned to deal with their scorn by just ignoring the remarks and internalizing the pain it caused me.

Then one day I met my now husband and I so foolishly thought I might have someone to help defend me against the constant attacks at family gatherings when I so carefully would build a wall on the edge of my plate to house the pool of gravy that I like to dip my meat in.

The very first time I was at his family's house for Thanksgiving Turkey dinner he reached over my plate, took his knife and callously broke the wall with his knife, laughing hysterically all the while gravy was spilling every where onto all sorts of other food while I frantically tried to rebuild the wall.

Naively I had assumed that someone I loved could never be so awful to me. Rest assured it has not happened again, despite his attempts.

Terribly Delicious!

We made paneer for supper today since someone who hates curry is in China! Hooray for curry! Turns out there is little I know about Indian cooking, since this recipe doesn't actually involve curry. Matar Paneer

It was terribly delicious just as Pom.Sugar predicted! We would like to highly recommend it, but note that we at least doubled the amount of yoghurt and milk in this dish. Maybe tripled it. We like our sauces saucy!

Notice please how she doesn't like her food touching. On these man-sized dinner plates the naan is practically pushed off the edge while the paneer is cowering over in one corner of the plate, having been scraped back into place several times.

We also made chai afterwards. Or at least she did while I watched. (watched TV that is. well someone had to!)

Plus Minus My Brain

I troubleshooted a calculator today, one where the minus button wasn't working.

I KNOW! I can barely believe people still use calculators rather than excel or the handy calculator in windows. There is almost no instance I could see it being useful or easier, but maybe if the power goes out. And even then... I'd still grab my cell phone.

But I digress. No wait! I KNOW! I can't believe I'm in charge of calculators either, but they plug in or have batteries, so there's that link to IT.

Then I got to watch the proof that the minus button didn't work.

1. First 100 plus 20 equals 120. Good, that worked.
   
2. Then 100 plus negative 20 equals 80. See, that worked too!
3. Now, watch: 100 minus 20 equals 80. Oh.

Ok good! My work here is done. My only question is do I add this to my list of solved problems for the day? Good thing it subtracted some time from my day... Haha, did you see what I did there? Add? Subtract! Yeah, that was funny.