Nubbins

It's really sad to see a well-suited, well-heeled, good looking young man at 7:45 am downtown on his way to work chewing his fingernails down to nubbins as he's waiting for the light to change to cross the street.

Bible Stories

zefrank tells about Abraham.

Sorta shirtless in the park

A guy driving past me stared, veered and nearly tipped off his bicycle at lunch today as I was taking my shirt off... Hey, it was hot in the park! I still had a tank top on! I need some sun! He better watch where he's going...

All my dreams come true...

H&M IS COMING!!!
TO EDMONTON!!!

Opening Spring 2007

Think BIGGER

Last night, for no particular reason, I was feeling quite low but still realized that what I've got is better than 99% of the rest of the world. So I started off the day perky, determined to Think BIGGER. I was going to not let the weasels get me down. I was not going to sweat the small stuff. I was going to see the Big Picture.

But I did sweat the smelly stuff. I got annoyed while on Kitchen Duty for two minutes this afternoon and this is what happened to slip out of my head and onto the computer and into other people's mailboxes:

Please note: this week's kitchen slaves will not be scraping the food and cheese off, or washing the dishes currently located in or around the sink area. If you left your used dish unattended in the kitchen this afternoon, shame on you. Kitchen slaves tidy up, but do not wash the dishes.

You'll be happy to know that this week's kitchen slaves will be sorting out the fridge on Friday afternoon. Please make sure your food is not past the expiry date, or it will be tossed.

Yep.

I ended up with two "oh that was harsh!" and four "you tell 'em" and one "can you also get them to stop eating my lunch?" comments.

Cubicle etiquette

One of the questions on the latest intranet survey was "Is there any information that you think belongs on the Intranet?" We were trying to pick people's brains on what sorts of new information could be valuable to employees. One of the comments was "Cubicle etiquette."

I just wonder who wrote that and what exactly they meant. It might be a really funny piece.

Steel toed boots for work

Steel toed boots for work sounds like it wouldn't be much use in an office, but I'm a little clumsy when it comes to foot safety. There's been many times that I've opened doors and practically broken my toes off. Just last night I rolled the bottom drawer of a steel filing cabinet over my toe and ripped half the nail off. Yuck.

So, I'm going to get some steel toed boots for work. Watch out for me, next time I kick a car on the way home from work, I'll put my foot through it.

How to cheat at web stats

Every month I blindly slam into a wall of stupidity when I go through the web stats for our intranet search engine. My will to live is robbed.

It's an INTRANET.
Looks like the internet, but it's not.
Is. Inside. Firewall.
Google. Outside.

It's sad to know that 168 people searched our intranet to find google, basically using our search engine instead of a bookmark. We've got it set so that when the search engine finds zip, nada, nix, it tells you to try http://www.google.ca/ instead, then you click on the google link, and then type in your search. If they just bookmarked google like a smart person, they'd save themselves some typing and two clicks.

It's sad to know that a further 48 people searched for www.google.ca or www.google.com and still found nothing to click on. There is indeed no such thing as idiot-proof.

Also sad? The amount of misspellings. As an organization 75% comprised of counsellors, you'd think they'd know how to spell "counsellor." (note: I don't mean the American variation which I can understand...) As an organization that deals with addictions, you'd also wish that at some point they'd learn how to spell "addiction."

The best misspelling this month was con currant, which Sean thought meant felons with raisins.

That said, there are some smart people still around cheating the search engines. Legitimately driving up stats to their lame content. Pretty easy actually -- works on Google too. Every time you're going to visit a page, instead of remembering where it is or typing in the address, search it. Soon it becomes the top click for those search terms and becomes "popular content".

Creative Stapling

I am one of those people who likes things to be neat and square, but I'm not completely anal about things lying about or being messy. But creative stapling really bothers me... fanning four papers out and then stapling them somewhere in the middle, wow, that's annoying.

"Deserves Beatings"

On a truck on the way home...

"Go"
Oiler's
"Go"

Bank hold-up

Tonight I took my bike to the ABM drive-through at my local bank... it was super fun to see the look on a minivan drivers face when he pulled through what he thought was an empty line and got stuck behind me on my bike, tee hee!

Yep, and then I dropped my card right at the end and I cracked my head on the side of the ABM. Luckily, I was wearing my helmet.

I also almost swallowed 1 bug on my way home.

zefrank Funny

the show with zefrank: 08-02-06
"it's Run-out-of-clean-underwear-and-contemplate-how-much-mileage-you-can-get-out-of-an-empty-tank-of-gas Day"

Oh so funny.

More rocks (in my head)

Ah yes. More rocks and Sean, who is so funny...

________________________________________
From: Sean
Sent: Tuesday 11:31 AM
To: Webmaster
Subject: RE: Unity Content - Corporate Communications Team Content

Done. Check it out.

-----Original Message-----
From: Maria On Behalf Of Webmaster
Sent: Tuesday 1:33 PM
To: Sean
Subject: RE: Unity Content - Corporate Communications Team Content

Ah, that spam was probably me… copying from word. :) Thanks for fixing my lazy mistake!! You Rock!

Thanks dude, that page looks great! You Rock some more!!

P.S. I don’t mean anything by this but… Did you know rock means “skirt” in zee German?

________________________________________
From: Sean
Sent: Tuesday 1:34 PM
To: Webmaster
Subject: RE: Unity Content - Corporate Communications Team Content

Hmmm... so how do you say "rock" in German?

-----Original Message-----
From: Maria On Behalf Of Webmaster
Sent: Tuesday 1:35 PM
To: Sean
Subject: RE: Unity Content - Corporate Communications Team Content

Rrrrrrrrrock.

-----Original Message-----
From: Maria On Behalf Of Webmaster
Sent: Tuesday 1:35 PM
To: Sean
Subject: RE: Unity Content - Corporate Communications Team Content

D'oh! You didn’t mean pronounciation.

Rock = stein. Yep, as in Einstein.

________________________________________

From: Sean
Sent: Tuesday 1:37 PM
To: Webmaster
Subject: RE: Unity Content - Corporate Communications Team Content

So I guess calling myself "Doktor Rockenstein" would be kinda redundant, huh?
Too bad.