Computers and knitting. Two things I'm good at. How do you respond when someone asks you for help and then this happens:
ZOMG!! Need HALP! Terrible things have happened! This is the worst! I can't go on!
Oh no problem, I can help you with that. Let me have a look at it.
Look, I'm going to set this thing on fire unless you help me right now!!!
Ok I'm looking at it right now. I can help you with it but I need you to stay calm so I can show you what has gone wrong and show you how I'm fixing it.
Seriously, unless you are actually going to help me right this minute I'm going to go strangle some other human being! I'm soooo mad at this!
This is not the end of the world and it is quite fixable. Here, let me show you.
NO!! I'm too mad, I'm just going to throw this thing out the window!
Ok, well then I guess I don't need to fix it for you before you throw it out.
NOOO!!!! I need you to help me!
Sure, that's no problem, I'm going to do this thing first, and then this other thing. Can you also provide me with a little more information?
Are serious? How come you can't help me!! I asked you for simple help and you aren't helping at all!! I'm going to call my other friend because they know everything all about [choose one: computers, knitting] and clearly you know nothing. And I thought we were friends! You're a jerk!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The Women Answer The Phones
Most women like chatting. I totally get that you'd probably assume that I'd be like that, but generally I don't rush to answer any calls, even though there are a select few people I love to hear from.
At the place I go to work I was told that I would be on alternate phone duty, somewhere around fourth on the list of people who would answer calls to our main line. I assumed that was a job for the newest person at work. It's not even either, but here's how it works: everyone goes on vacation at once and I get to sit at the front desk away from all my computers and servers where I can be the least helpful tethered to a desk I can't do any of my own work at and accidentally hang up on people while trying to transfer them. If I step away from the phone I overhear conversations that say things like "where's a girl to answer the phone?"
This afternoon, after successfully transferring a call to someone who gets 99% of calls but doesn't give out his direct line I am asked by a shout across the office: "Hey is this a call for me!?"
Um no, if it was for you I'd hang up or accidentally transfer it to the shop... of course it's for you!!
I hate phones almost as much as fax lines.
At the place I go to work I was told that I would be on alternate phone duty, somewhere around fourth on the list of people who would answer calls to our main line. I assumed that was a job for the newest person at work. It's not even either, but here's how it works: everyone goes on vacation at once and I get to sit at the front desk away from all my computers and servers where I can be the least helpful tethered to a desk I can't do any of my own work at and accidentally hang up on people while trying to transfer them. If I step away from the phone I overhear conversations that say things like "where's a girl to answer the phone?"
This afternoon, after successfully transferring a call to someone who gets 99% of calls but doesn't give out his direct line I am asked by a shout across the office: "Hey is this a call for me!?"
Um no, if it was for you I'd hang up or accidentally transfer it to the shop... of course it's for you!!
I hate phones almost as much as fax lines.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Why I hate doors
Here's everything that I know about doors:
Oh no wait. Besides IT, I'm de facto in charge of security, sprinkler systems and doors. That means I'm in charge of organizing maintenance and replacements of doors. Which means I hire contractors to tell me BS about doors. I now know about solenoids, strike plates, digital readers, hinge pins, door closers, sensors and our building's air pressure problems. It's not a bad thing, but I wish it weren't me.
There was a cute guy fixing a forklift at the back of the shop who had a British accent and he was impressed that I had a screwdriver and was taking the lock apart. Sadly he didn't ask me out. Probably couldn't: girl with a screwdriver after all, way too intimidating.
- They open.
- They close.
- Some doors lock.
Oh no wait. Besides IT, I'm de facto in charge of security, sprinkler systems and doors. That means I'm in charge of organizing maintenance and replacements of doors. Which means I hire contractors to tell me BS about doors. I now know about solenoids, strike plates, digital readers, hinge pins, door closers, sensors and our building's air pressure problems. It's not a bad thing, but I wish it weren't me.
There was a cute guy fixing a forklift at the back of the shop who had a British accent and he was impressed that I had a screwdriver and was taking the lock apart. Sadly he didn't ask me out. Probably couldn't: girl with a screwdriver after all, way too intimidating.
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