I've got 2 words for that

On the evening of our presentation we were preceded by 3 groups. The first was mediocre (a web wizard) and the second a horrible, dark and slow (19 layers of flash!) and then a quite nice & well put together website. Then our presentation was followed by another group who wasted (four nights a week) x (5pm-10pm) at school and came up with a messy black design with a red scroll bar. That one in particular was horrific, never mind for all the extra time they put into it.

One of the groups concluding paragraph was so amazing I wrote it down to share with you:

"So to wrap up I would just like to share two words that sum up the website that we presented. The first is Security and the second is Diversity. First of all it is secure because we have implemented security. Secondly, and finally diversity because it is very diverse."

Coders do not excel at designing beautiful, easy to navigate websites nor at public speaking.

On Notice:

The entire Northside. You are dead to me! You may have a mall or two that are interesting and you may have nice people but I hope to never have to go there ever again!

I realized that when I started at NAIT I would hate driving to school and hate taking the bus to school, and in all honestly I really have been lucky that it didn't really start snowing until two weeks ago so driving hasn't been that big of a pain except for going there 3 nights a week after work every single week.

I'm so sick of the Northside!! Forget it!

Twice in one day

You are lucky for me to post again today.

AND SO AM I LUCKY!!!

Lookit!! ZERO has arrived, big ole ZIPPO!!


No more days until the end of school!! Yippiee!

PaintShop "Pro"

So my sister is quite the PaintShop pro... she draws beautiful drawings of how she backed into the most amazingly tight parking stall in their downtown parking garage between two dualie trucks parked on the stall lines. This was all on company time, including the parking, as a test of her driving skills when she goes out to represent the company.

Our client also thinks he is a PaintShop pro. He asked for the design drawings, or "skins" as he likes to call it and of course we can provide him with my design drawings, they are however CS3 design documents. I asked him if he had a way to edit Photoshop documents and he replied with "pfft! of course, I have PaintShop Pro". As if to say...Don't you know it!

Well, then. We will provide you with the "skins". And good luck with that!

Weird kids

My group at NAIT was an odd batch of people.

• One guy took out his insoles and played around with them during our group discussions,
• One guy walked into a plate glass window because he thought it was a door,
• One guy would always say yes yes yes and afterwards we would realize he didn't understand a word we said... much like how when we wanted him to pay attention we'd have to say his name three times before he'd clue in that we were talking to him -- like he fell into day dreams the minute he didn't have to pay attention, and
  
• One guy who quit his job because he felt he would get fired and would go AWOL every time we had a deadline because he felt like a failure, except we couldn't get him to understand he was one of our best coders.

Now he is trying to become a bus driver instead of IT because he feels like such a failure. If you can't believe in yourself, no one else will.

Nosewhistlers and loud chewers and non-stop talkers

Are on notice.

How to spot an internet dork

Refers to the design of a website as a "skin".

Our client is a dork.

More hilarity ensues

I forgot my password for my laptop. The one I bought a year and a half ago and have logged into at least five times a day since then.

Same laptop.
Same password.
Same brain? I think not.

Fo'gettin'

It started before the shoes. I wonder when it will end? Yesterday I left my purse behind.

For Shell

I have no idea why the English language seems to be so difficult to learn. My guy who had the "brown users" instead of bronze members cannot seem to say For Sale. Today I realized that he kept referring to his own page in our project, which he had named ForSell. For selling stuff. Duh. So no wonder he kept getting it wrong.

Microsoft, by the way, sucks for rendering CSS in Visual Studio. I have no idea how they cannot have photos and pages connected the way Dreamweaver does so that if you rename or delete it, it renames or deletes all the references, OR tells you that you should not delete it. Kind of like when you rename a page it doesn't rename the code behind so all your files get mixed up. It's a feature, I guess.

Kind of like our social networking photo website project that has a huge button on every page that says "DELETE" and when you click it, it says "Are You for true To Delete every Photos?"

Forgetting

I forgot my credit card and earrings at the hair dresser.

Biggest dork ever?

This afternoon I was getting my hair cut when I realized I'd walked out of the house wearing two different shoes.

WTF??

"The value must be a number less than infinity."
No shit, and, well that narrows it down.

IM

IM is brilliant and dangerous. Tonight working on school work with a bunch of people I got a message from one of the guys about a massager... awkward!

Tires

Did I tell you when I lost the bolt on the link stabilizer bar (I have no idea what i'm talking about except the part that makes the tire stick on to the car and makes horrible knocking noises if it should happen to be missing such was my case) my dad investigated and said "it should be fine. I would be almost certain to say it isn't a hazard to other motorists. But wear your seatbelt. Juuuuust in case."

I regularly have tire anxiety. And is it any wonder?

Occupational Hazard #2

"Hello, I'm the new girl in IT."

Responses:

• "Oh. Do you think if I brought in my home computer you could fix it for me?"
• "I'm getting a strange process at home that won't let my computer shut down, it's called govacations or getsmart or something like that. Do you know it?"
• "I need MS Office but I don't want to pay for it, do we have any free copies at work I could have for home?"
• "Can you recommend an anti-virus for my home computer?"

Occupational Hazards

Librarian: "I haven't read anything since high school. *hyuck hyuck!* "
>:(

Web Design: "If you have any questions you should ask me because I do webs 'n shit *hyuck hyuck!*"
>:(

Network Admin: "I don't know anything about computers *hyuck hyuck!*"
>:(

Happy Birthday to me!

After I ran out of clean socks this morning I happened to find a basket of clean clothes in the corner of my room! Happy birthday to me indeed!

600th post

I was trying to figure out a really amazing post for my 600th post on this blog but I haven't come up with something.

Luckily my sister sent me this first thing this morning:

I can hear someone's nose whistle from where I am... yet no one is sitting close to me at the moment.....

Solved the problem.

The thing in manufacturing is that if it doesn't work you go get a bigger hammer.

When computers don't work it's one of a million different reasons but usually the problem is who is sitting in front of the screen.

Gigantic Zucchinni's

Goatmeal Cereal

I know someone who takes a sharpie and puts a "G" in front of the word oatmeal on her morning cereal. For giggles.

Hihowarya?

After "hi" sometimes I forget to say nice things to people when I talk to them on the phone before I launch into the reason why I'm calling. Things like "having a good day?" and "what's the weather like where you are?" Some of my family find this trait annoying and most find it hilarious. My only redeeming quality is that my "hi" is usually "hi how are ya?" or "hi how's it goin'?" Yesterday I realized that when I met a German person I said "hihowarya."

Snow White

The people here are super funny -- the internet is still a magical place. Today I had three hysterical voicemails when I got back to my desk from the server room but one of the younger guys had already dealt with the lady who's outlook was as she called it "possessed" or she needed a new keyboard -- turns out she'd had a freak-out so bad this guy had gone to help her deal -- she was swearing and mashing her hands on the keyboard but nothing would come up on screen...

White font.

Yep.

True story.

How to quit your job: a primer

1. Pull the fire alarm daily.
2. Eat other people's lunches. In front of them.
3. Steal money.

How not to quit: hand in a reasonable resignation letter and get sent back to your desk to "really really think about it." Then, after lunch, go and reiterate your desire to leave and get sent home "to really really think about it" overnight.

At my parents

M: I get the phone because no one cares to answer it and it's my grandma's half-sister's cousin's daughter whom I've never met on the phone to ask if I'll go out with her son.
A: Yup, been there, done that!
M: It's not like we're related or anything... Oh wait. YES IT IS.
A: Well you gotta keep it in the family! :)

On my crackberry

I'm in Home Depot with my dad and there's all this annoying, repetitive tapping/hammering going on. I peek through the stock to see what is going on and it's a group of Asians building birdhouses. It was funny, is all.

Servers

I called for help this week and was sent probably one of the smartest Server guys a person could hope for. We ended up building a server from parts to be quick about it. To be perfectly frank: I got to install the CD drive and he built practically everything else.

At some point he was looking for pliers in my toolkit and not finding any, mentioned that I needed to go get some -- so I dug around in my purse and pulled out my little tool and he was quite astonished by that magic. A while later when we were plugging in the new server into the rack he needed a mirror and a flashlight to be able to see where he was plugging it into. Neither of which I had.

"Really? You have pliers in your purse but no makeup compact?" Hehehehe, yup.

So we made do with the back of a CD and a lighter.
In a server room, that inexplicably has no redundancies.

Shepard's Garden

Driving down 66th Street past the fire hall with a classmate he points out the Shepard's Garden high rise under construction. Recently, he informed me, he had looked at buying a place in this new high rise but they didn't seem to be for sale only for rent. Astonished I informed him that they were an extension of the seniors' manor and lodge next door and they were definitely only available to old people. "Hm, that makes sense, they had a nurse on staff 24/7 and you could take your meals in the cafeteria..."

FAIL

To truly appreciate the joke here you might need to click on the picture to see it full sized. Notice the caution sign on the left hand side in particular...

What is a negative number?

Lunch and learn instruction on General Ledgers:

Q: What is a GL? Otherwise known as a general ledger? Well, to understand GLs we have to first understand negative numbers. What is a negative number? I'll draw it like a ladder with steps going up...
*draws*
Well actually, it's more like a hill... with steps... going up...
*erases* *draws*
Well actually, maybe it is more like a ladder...
*redraws*
There! Now you need to understand negative numbers to understand Debits and Credits, for when you take money out of one account you can wind up with a minus, but really it's a plus somewhere else, or it could be one of several plusses and minuses in several GLs even if it's still a plus or minus in your account or a minus or a plus in several GLs!

Clear as mud?

It's funny how you can tell when people are explaining things that were difficult for them to grasp so they have little understanding that everyone else might have understood negative numbers when they were introduced to us in Grade 2 and when GLs were covered in Accounting in High School. By very latest when you had your own bank account with overdraft coverage you understood debits and credits. It really IS like a hill! You keep working and working like you're trudging up a steep hill but you keep getting further and further behind, the first step is your overdraft, the second is your credit card, the third is your...

Q: How can I make an ugly car uglier?

A: Stick beads on it!

Smells like a horse with the hiccups

At a hotel in Calgary this weekend we were waiting for the elevator when some loudly chatting Germans came in to the lobby to wait with us. They went on talking about downloading their pictures of their adventures to their computer, completely oblivious that we were in fact spying on their conversation. I remember being impressed because they spoke a certain elegant slang and when I turned around to gawk the woman was Asian. It's surprising, that's all.

We all get on the elevator and as they're getting off the woman complains to her friend "I can't wait for a shower! I smell like a horse!" and added as an afterthought "... with the hiccups!"

My cousin and I couldn't even look at each other until the doors completely closed after which we translated the hilarity for the others in the elevator.

At the wedding reception in the evening we told this story at our table to the absolute astonishment of the rest of our cousins. One of which is a trail riding guide who confusedly informed us "...but... horses don't get the hiccups!" And the laughter exploded again.

Wedding fun

I found this hilarious site that deliberately misspells everything.

Girls = $$$

Went to a wedding this weekend and got into a discussion with some people.

Guy #1 remarks "man, it sure is expensive to date, girls cost so much money."
Guy #2 "you got that right man."
Guy #1 now bolstered says "yeah, it's at least a hundred bucks every time you take one of them out."

Me, thinking I've been royally gypt, pipe up "What? A hundred dollars? What kinds of girls and where are you taking them??"

Guy #1 "well dinner and a movie, that's a hundred bucks. More depending on how much of a good time you want to show her."
Guy #2 with an eyeroll glumly responds "Dude, it's more like thousands."

Exactly what is wrong with you?

My classes are overfilled with international students, some of which speak English fairly well but most speak very poorly and have minimal comprehension. Being a fairly strong student I normally get lumped into groups with the strugglers. Teachers hope that being such a joy to have in class means I'll take it easy and explain a few things the slower ones can't grasp. One such particular bright light has been in an ongoing group project with me. I'm slowly starting to get sick of him as he talks really sl-ow-ly and shows no signs of improving his language skills.

When he asks "what does documentation mean?" I explain it, he argues and tells me what he thinks it means instead. Then we have this long discussion on what I say it really means and I finally tell him to look it up in the dictionary where by he finally grasps my exasperation and says that we'll go with my definition since I'm a native speaker but he still doubts what I said. Fine! Doubt away! As long as we're going with my definition... I don't really care!

His jumps in logic are immensely difficult for someone like me to grasp, a discussion about the impact our project would have on a business launched a discussion on how important he thinks recycling batteries is and how our project should incorporate battery recycling. While battery recycling is important, our project is IT related and not much in an IT shop runs on batteries... excepting maybe a flashlight or two in case of power outages.

So then on Monday we're discussing odd interview questions such as "if you were a piece of lettuce in a salad and were stabbed and about to get eaten what would you do?" The instructor loves those kinds of questions and said she would ask each one of us which kind of book we could be and which kind of animal we would be, starting with my little friend. Excitedly he exclaimed he would like to be a dog. "Why would you want to be a dog? What kind of characteristics does a dog have that would be important for you to have in a job setting?" "Because I like the dog!" Ok, so now you see my problem.

Continuing the instructor asked, "Not just because you like dogs but what kinds of characteristics or traits does a dog have that you can apply to yourself in a job setting?"

"Umm.... uhm... I dunno. Maybe in...? in...? ins...? inss...?"

I piped up "Instinct? Are you thinking of instinct?" I hadn't thought of instinct, but that is a good trait. The teacher thought so too "oh wow," she exclaimed "insinct, dogs have instinct! Very good! Now what else?"

"NO! Not instinct! Not instinct! Ins... in... how do you say it? ins... ins...?"

The teacher lost interest in what had turned into a painful exercise and moved on. I however got a post-it note shoved into my face and he stage-whispered "how you say this word??"

Insane

"Insane? You think dogs are insane?!!" WHUT? Granted, some dogs might be. Generally though puppies are loyal, friendly, helpful, and lovable. There are a few parts of this exercise this guy didn't pick up on: the fact that this was an interview question, that you'd normally try to put your best foot forward, that in Canada most people generally like dogs.

Office 2007 Training

From my sister:

Just had an orientation training session. The instructor, who has a long reddish/blond pony tail and a twirled handle bar moustache began with: "You will experience the full gamut of human emotion. You have paid for the entire seat, but you will only need the edge."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The gift that keeps taking...

M: "I'm in home outfitters buying a wedding present. If the marriage doesn't last the year will they give me the toaster back?"
A: "Oh probably, so buy a nice one!"
M: "But I already have a toaster! I don't need another one!"
A: "Hmm... that's a problem."
M: "How about I buy them an electric toothbrush?"
A: "See the problem with that is batteries. I have one and it requires new batteries every couple of months. It's the gift that keeps taking..."
M: "Perfect!"

Baloo the bear

On my way to school after work I drive through a neighbourhood across the river from downtown that is a good neighbourhood, but getting older. Generally it's yuppie type couples and university students in this area, with a few staunch older folk holding out in their own homes.

Today on my way I was stopped at a very long light and noticed a guy, might have been drunk, passed out across the street at the lamp post -- either passed out or sleeping on the grass. While I'm waiting for the light he stands up to the best of his ability and realizes there are five lanes of traffic intersecting that he could be entertaining. This particular intersection and that particular lamp post he was leaning up against had a crosswalk button, a big yellow button the size of a fist... I forgot to mention that this guy had taken off his shirt and was waving it around like a flag to draw more attention to himself than a half-naked, wobbly-on-his-feet-guy normally would receive at half-past four in rush-hour traffic. After sufficient attention was drawn he turned his back on the big yellow button and... scratched his back up and down the way Baloo the Bear did in The Jungle Book. I could hear the laughter pouring from many car windows.

Here's a tip for all of us: never, never press the cross-walk button with your fingers.

The techs are on it

In the hallway: four computer tech people huddled around a fax machine wondering why it won't go or if it already did. Fax machines aren't really their thing after all, so they're nervously standing about clicking their pens click-click-clickety-click...

SARS

My favourite part of yesterday was when someone who had just returned from a vacation was standing in the door way of our pod going "I just haven't got words for how amazing it was, I just haven't got words for how beautiful it was, I just haven't got words for how awesome an adventure it was, I just haven't got words for how lovely the people are, I just haven't got words for how wonderful the hotel was, I just haven't got words for..."

For an hour we heard her chatting up and down our side of the building about how she just didn't have the words! Today she is out sick with a sore throat. I think she might have SARS.

The battle continues

Pod Life Update: Amazingly the topics that came up today were: religion, catholic "brainwashing", private school, war (the war, the only war of course), and someone inadvertently bringing up not only Obama and Iraq and famous American speeches in Berlin, Slavic countries and virtues of communism, and being surrounded (or under siege) by Germans. Despite all that we only had one skirmish in the pod, and I am not even sure we can count it as a real skirmish as M bit his tongue and said "I'M BITING MY TONGUE! I'M BITING MY TONGUE!" I am fairly certain that counts as one skirmish, narrowly avoided.

Pod life

I thought M's head was going to explode twice this morning. We're going to have to get the Admin to requisition some masking tape so we can quarter up the pod... it's like this: P's moving in this afternoon and he visited us (particularly M) twice this morning. Both times before he left he fires off a parting shot of "insert some random facts here" and "you should look it up." At lunch on the way out past our pod he says to me "Berlin is actually a city of Slavic descent. You should look it up."

Particularly weird: everything ends in some sort of soapbox opinion. We were talking about home renovations and it practically ended in fisticuffs.

Pod life just got a lot more interesting this afternoon!

Bad behaviour

Here's what I hate: people who use pregnancy to excuse their (what I observe to be their normal & what I consider to be bad) behaviour. I have to admit that I disrespect people who have food issues as a regular philosophy, however if someone normally is finicky and picky and particular and complains regularly to wait-staff, imho it is inexcusable to blame your behaviour on the fact that you're pregnant.

If you normally order half hot chocolate/half coffee at Tim's and go back to complain about the ratio of hot chocolate to coffee on a regular basis, being pregnant doesn't mean you get to go back to the staff and complain about the ratio AND be rude about it.

If you normally ask for a plain multigrain bagel with butter on the side and get either a plain or a multigrain bagel, already buttered, you might consider refining your request to: A multigrain bagel, nothing on it, because clearly you have a communication problem. Then ask for some butter and a knife, because clearly no one can butter toast the way you do. You're special dammit!

Leaving out the words PLAIN and butter in your instructions will help clear up many things for staff while they're already bewildered by the fact that someone drinks hot chocolate with coffee in it! Or worse yet, coffee with hot chocolate in it! Dammit! But don't say "dammit, I'm pregnant and I deserve to get exactly what I want!" because dammit, you ALWAYS get what you want, you big baby!

Dammit!! All this before my first coffee? Seriously?? Stop introducing observable stress into my life!!

Hahah new show

Dr. Horrible

Slurpees

Someone told me that Macs has the best slurpess because they have Crystal Light raspberry slurpees so they don't have any calories. I was like "seriously? do you know you're a girl?"

Except for, you know, all the sugar.

Dressing up

J: You have to dress up for work? Like how dressed up? I have jeans and a sweater on today but I'd rather be more comfortable at home.

M: Yeah we dress up. Business casual. There is a really long list of what is not appropriate. We're pretty much what I would call full business dress except men in our building aren't always required to wear suit jackets. And we have a lady who is like the clothing police, she will pull you aside and not nicely tell you what you're wearing wrong. They proudly told me in my interview that they have casual Fridays "where you can feel at home!" neglecting to tell me that it's ONE Friday a month and you are allowed to choose to wear jeans without holes, stains, etc requirements, etc requirements, but ONLY with the appropriately logoed shirt. One shirt looks like a gas meter reader's shirt. Then there are a few more that are bright horrific blue, orange, yellow and green polo shirts. "Feel at home? Listen, if I felt at home I'd take my pants off and throw them on the floor."

J: Yah exactly, that sounds more like uniform day to me. If it was feel at home day I'd be naked eating a bowl of ice cream and the rest of you sure as hell wouldnt be there blocking the sweet tanning rays.

"hullo, I would like to renew a license to wear old spice..."

I would like to tell you what they use to keep track of all the work at my new job, all the design/construction documents and any emails about checking in/out source code. It is: Lotus_freaking_NOTES.

"Welcome to 1988! Lookit: We have a computer!"

Sappy post

So to clarify the bunny scratching/peeing from the last posts: normally my bunny was really really sweet, he just really didn't like getting picked up, which is why he'd kick up a fuss every time I had to put him back into his cage. Outside of being happy and "marking" his people and things he was really fun to have zipping around.

Usually I'd get a picture of him like this:

Followed by a picture like this:

And if I was lucky one like this:

Sadly he was at the Vet on Friday to get neutered. I was hopeful it would stop some of his marking behaviour, but his little heart stopped while he was under anaesthetic. Rabbits are fairly fragile little things... which is why there are so many of them, I guess. I'm going to miss the little bugger. I hope someone shaves carrots for him the way he likes where ever he is.

Trading up!

I traded a drafting table (I got from a friend for free) for a snowblower (that needs a little tune-up)! Yay no more shovelling next winter!

Today. So far, so good.

Saturday: fell down the stairs, got scratched by my bunny, got bit by my bunny
Yesterday: i got scratched by my bunny, fell down a bank, accidentally fell in the creek, got peed on by my bunny
Today, so far: cut my finger opening a sugar dispenser at the coffee station

I'm your best date ever

I turn up late due to bunny peeing on me before I leave. We go for a walk in the ravine but I wipe out and slip down a muddy hill and bruise my bottom never mind get totally muddy. I attempt to jump the creek and determine that it is deeper than it looks, way deeper. Deeper than my knees for sure, but not quite waist high. Eventually I squish my way home.

Oh yeah, he'll be calling me again, for sure!

In my cube

M: do you have a black felt marker?
A: Not here...
M: oh. too bad. I would draw moustaches on the glass in my office and pretend when people are looking at me that they are french.

Minding my own

My sister texts me:

Um so standing at the bus stop minding my own business and there's a bum laying on his side on the other side of the bench. i look over and all of a sudden there is a stream of liquid coming from him. does not even bother to stand to pee. just lets it go. by the time my bus came he had rolled over into it. and we wonder why they smell so rank

Odd

odd: people who have email addresses in their email signatures
odder: people who email you to ask for your email address so they can send you something

My sister writes

So I bought a flask/thermos thingy from the dollar store this week so I can take milk to work and eat my cereal at my desk. Turns out it is not very water tight. Although this is not entirely too surprising to me being that I paid a dollar for it, I am still disappointed.

Perspective on the bad day

Some days you may have to take 3 midol to be able to start the day, but your neighbours' house and garage burning to the ground puts your day into perspective.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why, to get to the other side, of course!

Much like a woman who was crossing 75th Street today at Whyte Ave. She was walking so slow I thought she might be going backwards. But, to be fair, she was distracted by a bag of chips. Every second step she ate a handful. By the time she reached the other sidewalk it was empty.

It was a really long light.

My Tyres

Today at lunch I discussed opening an IT shop with a colleague, it would only be a go we agreed if we would append a P and an E to the word and would consistently write kick-ass programmes. Also we would insist on tyres being spelled with a Y. Why? Because we said so. This is an IT Shoppe after all. We have standards!

Speaking of tyres you should go read this post from 2005 and come back here for a story.

Ok, Story Time!

We are digging out of our crazy 2-day spring snowstorm in Alberta. I would have taken the bus to school on Tuesday for my exam if I didn't have to meet with someone afterward. The place where I got stuck the worst was in a parking lot, well, sort of stuck, stuck enough that it took me five minutes of back and forth to get out and not stuck enough that anyone came to help push me out. Then I drove home without any problems as most of the main streets had already been cleared.

I turned into my street later and I took it easy since there were some pretty deep ruts and my car is lower than the redneck trucks in the neighbourhood. I'd noticed a banging noise from underneath the car after the parking lot incident but didn't think anything of it and then it went away, maybe it was a block of ice or something that had built up or gotten jammed in. So carefully I rounded the corner by my house but 10 houses from my driveway I just stopped moving. When I stepped on the gas I didn't hear anything, not tires spinning on ice, not the motor revving, nothing. After checking I hadn't stalled I got out and saw that my TIRE HAD FALLEN OFF MY CAR. The banging noise my dad figures was the tie rods that join into the drive shaft (or something like that, ha ha look at me being such a car-pro) had a bolt shear off or something from all the potholes & bumpy winter driving...

The phone call:
"Dad, my tire just fell off!"
" ...It. did. not."
"It did, can you come help me? I'm just on my street, I can see my house, and it just fell off after I turned the corner."
"No way, come off it..."
"No really, the driver's side tire is off. Can you please come help me? And bring some tools!"

The tire thing really is my own fault, and here's how: a few weeks ago driving to school and dropping my sister off downtown we rounded a corner on Queen Elizabeth Rd and a car was stopped at the top of the hill blocking traffic. Its tire had fallen off. We giggled and wondered how that could happen, and listening to the radio someone reported on the traffic that someone's wheel had fallen off their car on such and such street and "how could that happen??" YES. I'll tell you how it happens: quickly and easily. You don't even notice anything if there's a lot of snow under your car. Your car just stops moving.

Now I'm going to be totally freaked out even more than when the hood of my car flew up while going 80km/hr on Calgary Trail.

Sad, is what it is

When the only reason you log on to email is to transfer code or files to another server.

TAGS are here!

So in an attempt to prolong the misery of my many labs I figured out tags for the blog today. And by figure out, I mean, actually do it. See how easy it is? It had to be, if everyone else has done it ages ago... so then I went back a ways and applied tags to old stuff. It turns out I have a lot of work related posts. Since we spend most of our waking hours at work I guess that makes sense. Second only to bus postings... I have a lot of observations about life on the bus.

other gems from today's class

current = cuwwent
desired (I have started hating hearing about choosing the "desired" selection)
retrieve= retweeve (we retweeve a lot of stuff in pwogwamming, pronouncing R's always optional)
error = "application error. contact your analysis." (uh, analyst?)
"grrr! i cannot type in the dark!" (or in the light)

what a nut... he's one of the reasons I've disappeared for a while, 29 days left! w00t!

what in ternation??

Mentioned several times in a lecture: "Alteration"
Written on board several times in a lecture: "Alternation"

Hockey neighbours

To say that my neighbours love hockey would be like saying all people like to breathe oxygen. They placed him in a private school this fall and recently pulled their son out of the private school in order to place him in a private hockey school. This is a good thing, as the private school made him cut his hair when school started, so it will still take a little time before the mullet grows back in.

When I moved into my house last year I noticed that there was a bucket beside the side door with 13 hockey sticks in it. This winter they poured a rink for their kids in the backyard. It's not just the kids that play, it's the entire family. But good for them!

PSD

A friend of my parents was interested in when I was finishing up school and what exactly I would be once I grew up.

"My next designation," I explained "is a CST diploma - Computer Systems Technology."
"Oh yeah? So when are you getting your PSD?"
"PSD?"
"Professional Student Designation..." (much laughter)

har har.

Better than knitting

It's my bunny now.

I think my mom wants me to learn a little responsibility.

And maybe how to be in a relationship.

I called it Foo, which is a computer joke, when you don't know what to name something you call variables Foo. My mom thinks that is hilarious because she remembers my favourite song as a kid was "Little Bunny Foo-Foo" which now that I think of it, is still one of the best songs ever.

Sooo... its name is Foo-Foo.

We name our pets odd names.

SIX WEEKS

It has seemed like forever but it is not. In six or seven weeks I may be employed again, not exactly finished school -- but almost. Yesterday I had talked to a program coordinator about my last two classes to finish up, but they run concurrently (and conflictingly on the same evenings) this summer. There will be no exceptions made for me. Sad, but I can deal with that.

Next Friday they're bringing in 18 employers (one single employer has 20 available positions) for the graduating class of 20 people, to which our semester is invited. The industry is feeling a crunch and talking with several others, it seems like the next five years will be hay-making time. The best part about next Friday is that the coordinator invited one employer, one that takes the entire company on a skiing holiday during the winter, specifically for me -- knowing my interests match the company's profile and realizing that I can finish two courses subsequently on my own time.

I am astounded. Overwhelmed. Six weeks left. I'm not sure what I'm feeling but it's similar to either ecstatic relief or petrifying fear.

Words of wisdom

Deadpan:

You might want to check my addition... I use a solar powered calculator and mark at night.

Recently, in H&M, something occurred to me

Trawling along behind someone who dashed into H&M in WEM it occurred to me that I don't much like going shopping with other people when:

1. I don't have money I want to spend (I have money but I'm just not in the mood, I think I might only like to shop by myself)


2. when I'm also not really in the mood for sitting in a change room watching someone change outfits, although I will wait patiently for my friends


3. when I'm wearing at least one too many layers and so I'm hot and itchy in my wool coat

Just then a lady turned around and sneezed on me.

The Paranoia Helpline

A woman I have only been friends with a short period of time has started calling me very regularly for computer help. Last time she had jiggled all the cords, checked the power and could hear the Microsoft doing-doing-DOINNNNGGGG song but the monitor wasn't coming on, and did I think that she might have to replace the monitor? She certainly thought so, but did I, was her question. I assured her that if she had jiggled all the cords then it certainly seemed that way to me.

She's also asked me to secure her wireless network and set up user accounts on her laptop which she got from work for her family members.

Here's why it's weird to be called for help:

At Christmas time I was invited to a party at her place and I was told to bring a friend. In the car on the way over I mentioned to my hostage, I mean FRIEND, that I thought this person didn't like me... no specific reason, but I just got that impression. At our arrival I introduced my friend to this woman, then we wandered into the kitchen for some drinks where she introduced the friend I had brought but she totally blanked on my name. In the car on the way home my friend and I giggled about her forgetting my name.

So now I'm 911 for computer help. It is so odd. It makes me think that she might only tolerate me for the help.

Or I might be paranoid.

The Post Office

I bet you the post office would be dead by now, except for bills, flyers and online shopping. I'm thinking Canada Post will be doing ok from now on. I'm too lazy to go out and drive around looking for things I want.

online privacy

The strange thing about being online is privacy and anonymity. I've read a few articles that recommend transparency for married couples -- shared emails, no secrets -- as a way to bolster a healthy relationship.

I would like to say: WTF?

I cannot think of anything more annoying that getting an email back from someone's husband when I email the wife. Men, you see, think differently, which can be so annoying. And they seem to never get their own mail. This is why the post office invented junk mail, so that the boys would have something to read.

Back to emails: they think if an email comes in, any email must be answered. Void of complete thought and regard they email back something so stupid you would think they surely set out to annoy you. Even better: the female half wonders why she never hears from you after she gets married.

I would recommend no shared emails. I thank my friends who do not currently share an email, and would ask them to never consider combining emails.

Disgraceful

It is disgraceful that I as a web developer/designer have not taken the time to create my own template for my blog or figured out tags.

I'm just saying it's disgraceful, not that it will change.

The CBC lies

Right now JPod is supposed to be on tv. But it is not, which is sad because I had planned on it for tonight. I think it's one of the best new shows that nobody is watching yet... never mind it is a Canadian show, it's also based on a Canadian book! Oooh how exciting!

So far the first few episodes stick pretty close to the book -- and that was totally hilarious! The Douglas Coupland book was not my first Coupland book, but it's an insta-favourite. I'm not sure what exactly appeals to me: the whole Dilbert-stuck-in-a-cube theme, complete with crazy colleagues that you love to bits as well as the teeth-clenching irritating colleagues that you wish you didn't have to work with, the annoyingly cheerful and totally useless/clueless boss, people that get paid more than you and don't deserve it, is one very familiar thing I love about it but I also love that the characters have way more interesting lives than I do. Heck, even the character's parents have more interesting lives than I do -- the one guy's mom grows pot in the basement and the father is an dismal but aspiring second-career second-rate actor who is also a sex fiend. The other guy's mom is a commune-living-hippie-feminist who named him "Juniper" as a baby, though he had his name legally changed to John Doe.

It's a bunch of code monkeys working on a game with corporate trying to thwart their plan, and a manager who stymies every creative thought. Well worth checking out.

That is if it comes on the CBC when it is supposed to. :(

Double Ugh.

Everyone in class was sick on Friday, so of course I caught what they were sharing. I haven't been this sick in a long time -- and it comes and it goes; some minutes I'm literally sitting in my underwear sweating, the next I'm bundled in sweaters and bathrobes and blankets teeth-chatter-shivering. It has robbed my will to study and any sense of caring about the exams this week. Oh yes, it's quiz week at NAIT, half way to midterms. I didn't go to school the first two days this week, being sure that the -44 windchill only would make me feel worse. And it did, today I came home from school and took a 5 hour nap, waking up at almost bedtime dehydrated, with a headache and no will to study for tomorrow's 2 quizzes.

I don't know which is worse, the cold in my head or the cold outside. Double ugh.

Two animals I am afraid of

I really like Google videos, I check them out often. Here's a little boy who was interviewed about Australia and said

"Two animals I am afraid of: Crocodiles, sharks and snakes."

hee!

I'm afraid of hyenas. According to any animal documentary they will swoop in every time and on any continent to eat the little babies and the hurt. Animal kingdom jerks!

Hmmm... and snakes. I don't trust things without legs.

I'll have a grande double barf latte...

Some people make interesting noises when they are by themselves. This is not ok with me. I had the misfortune to be within earshot of this strange woman in Starbucks who "mmmmm! MMMMM!" appreciatively over her drink. First she picked up her frap with both hands and slurped loudly on the straw, then smacked and ahhhed when it turned out to be so tasty. Yep, oblivious to my glaring, of course.

Eventually she started being more quiet and I was very appreciative. That is until she started banging a small metal object on the table. Irritated I looked up a few times to see what the heck was going on, but her hand obscured the object. Finally I caught on to what she was doing -- clipping her nails (and picking at her hangnails) in public and getting out the bits by whacking the nail clippers on the table.

I got up and left.

Members

Programming is super funny. There are many times a day that there are discussions about public. vs. private members, adding to a member, hiding and showing members, and most importantly the particular value of particular members.

It's hard to keep a straight face some days.

I like to remember

There's been a great number of things lately that have reminded me of my grandparents. Before Christmas I was talking to a friend who also had family members die this fall. "I don't like to think about them," is what he said physically shaking it off "it makes me sad to remember them."

I get what he meant but remembering isn't alway sad. I need to remember the good people and that there were so many good things in my life.

I was holding a melon for our family cat and remembered how incredibly relaxing it was to sit with my grandma while she ate. There is nothing more relaxing than watching a cat or a blind grandma eat. They are focused, quiet, and you are on relaxed alert. The mind-numbing repetition of someone else eating is so soothing. And there is nothing nicer than sharing a meal with another person. I think Oma liked having people around after so long a time eating by herself. It is comforting to not be alone.

There's a bottle of Listerine in my bathroom that is 95% done. When I bought it I was incensed that they would make me buy more than a litre of mouthwash at a time. It has lasted me about half of forever, but every night I remember waking up on Sunday mornings hearing my grandpa gargling in the bathroom, ducked under the covers waiting for the Listerine smell announcing he was ready for the day. That good smell would be followed by coffee and I have to explain that this was MAGICAL coffee smell, as no coffee ever has or will smell as good as my grandpas. Last before hopping out of bed and getting started the smell of porridge would waltz into the room and hurry us out of bed. To this day if I eat porridge I compare it to his.

Coffee reminds me of my other grandma, who would carry a full cup every where, so she could sit and relax and have coffee. I took up knitting to relax by myself, but I haven't done a great job while in school of relaxing with people but I hope that once this course work is done I'll be able to connect with people again.

FYI!

Knitting! It takes balls!

This is funny

Read the article, and then watch the skit.

It's funny, but funnier yet is that it is so funny to Germans.

Odd instructor habits

Last semester an immigrant instructor said EARLS instead of URLs. Odd but he's an immigrant.

This semester, a java genius, also says EARLS.
A network guru, says *sigh* :eyeroll: all class long.

Instructors are so odd.

Banana

I love bananas more than anything. Maybe that is why I bruise like a bad banana every time someone pokes me.

Define: Circs

So I guess Google doesn't do a good job of defining circs... circular knitting needles. It's two needles connected by a cord, like so.

Today I got a "squishy" in the mail -- a squishy type package. Yarn. For Socks. Yup, sock yarn. I took a nap this afternoon and arranged it so I could see it if I opened my eyes. I might be a tad obsessed. Okoko, I am totally obsessed.

How ridiculous!
But it is SO relaxing.

I'm twice as far a long as this now, furtively knitting in my 3 hour class break yesterday. I had to go to a different floor to hide out. Still got stared at, but not by my geeks.

Momentous Day

Today, for the first time ever, I purchased something on Ebay. YAY! I am a winner! Congratulations to me on winning my first bid ever! (on something no one else even bid on... and obviously few people want)

But Ebay Maria?!
I KNOW! Shocking.

I held out against it this long, but my recent obsession has driven me to give up even that long standing conviction. I bought 17 German-manufactured circs so cheap, they must have fallen off a truck somewhere, hehehehe, it doesn't mater, I'm going to love them and give them a good home anyway!

12-Month Calendar

On sale now: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

That is about half a habit a month. I think Highly Effective People could probably manage more than half a habit a month.