Swiss chicken

A: Want to grab lunch with me?
M: Sure. Where?
A: I’m not sure – something halfway between you and I? I’m looking at a map.
M: Let's.
A: Did you maybe want to do the Swiss chicken or something?
M: We are not 65. Do you think they'll let us in?
A: Hmmm..that’s tough. I have a fake senior discount card, and with my receding hairline, it’s becoming easier and easier to use.
M: HAHAHAHAHA ok if you want Swiss chicken I'll meet you there at 12:05

For real

In Win Server 2008 R2 you STILL can't paste into a cmd window. This upsets me beyond all reason. WHY micro$oft WHY? Every time I see ^V I want to strangle a programmer. There's three ways to do every thing in Windows, except paste into a cmd window using a shortcut.

On Pea-Brains and 1989 technology

I'm not in charge of facilities, but I happen to be often mistaken for a person who cares. Someone in our office was complaining about cigarette smell for three days and how he can't get rid of his headache from the stink until 2 am. I stood in his office and it smelled like wet earth. Since it has been raining for three days, I think that's reasonable, albeit weird. But exactly unlike cigarette smell.

While I'm there I take a peek behind his desk to see if anything crawled behind there and died. There I see the little fax machine the "sales team" insists they cannot do without is out of toner... so I replace the toner.

The memory starts spitting out pages from MARCH 29th onward. Almost 2 months!
...including sales orders
...including requests for quotations
...including multiple resubmissions for the same quotations.

Apparently "NO TONER" isn't enough of a warning for people who can't even set up a fax machine from 1989. One guy declares that he never uses that fax machine. As a matter of fact he has never used it and therefore cannot be held accountable. The other guy who uses it declares that he's not responsible for changing toner, I am, and therefore it is clearly my fault.

While I was waiting for the ream of paper to stop I had noticed the time was out by 2.5 hours and decided to help them out by setting it. Same complainer, when asked what the current time is, pointedly asked "do you want the computer time, the phone time, the cell phone time, or the real time?"

Really? Are there any other complaints I can possibly disregard for you today?

It is too a word

But it is not ok. Free balling. Wearing tight pants. Yelling, smelling like a donkey and firing clients.

Just FYI -- I installed Server 2008 R2 without you today, turns out I'm smart like that and I don't need you.

Perspective

Pleased with the fact that my investment gained $1.91 in the month of April, I crowed about it at a dinner with my family. My Dad said: "Ha, I get that in one day just picking up the bottles that I see on job sites."

Sigh.

In passing someone complained about the streak the copier was leaving on their copies and faxes this morning. I asked "Did you clean the glass?" "Yes, but it didn't help." That instant a committee of complainers was formed and everyone in earshot had to weigh in on the problem. I marvel at this office phenomenon, the willingness for people to say the dumbest things on their minds and for colleagues to agree on this techno-drivel. One person said "trust me, I know all about that, it's usually the imaging drum that has been damaged when there are streaks" and they all agreed this was likely.

Now I like a good complex problem same as the next person but I said "I'll come check it but it's usually the glass."
"I would appreciate it if you would just place a service call."
"I'll come check the glass first."
"FINE."

Checked the glass, there's a booger on it.

"It was the glass."
"I HAD CLEANED THE GLASS."

I did not say "...not well enough..."
>:(

How to fly a kite. As demonstrated by the little girls down the block.

Equipment Required:

1. A length of string
2. Plastic grocery bag
3. Wind (duh)

Procedure:

1. Tie opposite ends of the string to each grocery bag handle
2. Go outside
3. Let the wind fill up your kite!

Cutest and most imaginative thing I've seen! Who needs expensive toys?