Random Text

I have recently fallen in love with Google Reader, and on my reader I am subscribed to a site that posts witty, hilarious, random and often obscene text messages. But random. That's the word we'll focus on because it reminds me of the story of how I found out my cousin in Vancouver had gotten a new cell phone number.

M and I both work in downtown and often share stories of the strange things that we witness on our way to or from work or at lunch. So I text her the following:

"There is this particularly aggressive homeless man that always stands on the same corner holding his crotch. I have no idea what it's about but I am afraid."

In response I get: "Who is this?" which actually wasn't all that surprising because I haven't texted Monika in a long time (we usually converse over email.)

I say: "haha, this is Marcella"

"wrong number i am assuming? :) "

I respond (still thinking it's my cousin and assuming she doesn't have my cell phone programmed in hers so she doesn't recognize my number... obviously not very quick to catch on): "Not if you're my cousin M!"

"nope i'm michael."

At this point I have to apologize as profusely as I can over texting and try to explain what would be a rather disturbing text from a complete stranger. Luckily he had a good sense of humour about it and texts back: "no problem it's not every day i get random entertaining texts"

Upon further investigation, turns out M had gotten a new number two years before this texting happened. Like I said.... we usually only do email.

It's a good thing I actually don't know Michael or even live in the same city as him because otherwise it would have been REALLY embarrassing.

Un-Athleticism

Last night we were kicking the soccer ball around the back yard and now my toe is kind of swollen and really hurts this morning. So much so that I had to wear my ugly klunky comfortable shoes to work today. I am REALLY terrible and uncoordinated at things like sports.

It makes me laugh because Reinhard is so patient and tries to teach me how to do these things better. I told him it was training for him to teach our future kids how to kick balls around. He laughed and said he really hopes our kids are more coordinated and athletic than I am. Hahahahahahaha! It's especially funny because I can tell he's actually very concerned about it!

Did I get tele-transported to the 1950s?

On Friday I got home from work before my husband and the doorbell rings. I answer and it's the APX Security System salesman that I've seen walking around the neighborhood that week.

"Is the home-owner in?" he asks. "Uh-huh." I look expectantly at him for a few moments until I realize he's waiting for me to go get the owner. "It's me." I say and he gets all flustered as if he's never seen someone young owning a house before. But then before I can tell him I'm not interested he quickly launches into his spiel and I can't get a word in for a couple minutes until he asks me how many exterior doors I have. He's informed me that "exterior doors are the most common entry way for burglars to get into your house!" (WHAT??? NO Duh! Am I an idiot??)

"So how many exterior doors do you have?"

"Actually I'm going to stop you there because I'm not interested in your security system."

"Oh. Is it... Is it because your husband isn't home yet?"

I think to myself WTF!!

"NO, It's because I'm actually not interested in your security system. Not even a little bit"

"Oh. Well is there a time when I could come back again and speak to your husband?"

"No. I'm 99.9999% sure he is also not interested."

Huh? What year is it? I realize that I am a woman, but I am actually capable of making decisions. Seriously.

Snippy?

In my job, my coworkers and I tend to have to run after people to get information and sometimes people don't appreciate us all that much. Take for example the following response after reminding someone that they still hadn't send the required information requested on April 22nd:

"I apologize for the massive delay in getting you the data that you need to perform your job, we will shut-down and get on it right after the MANDATORY training that has been thrust upon us Monday. However, here in Cushing we do not hire staff that we do not have work for, and every one of us here has a full 40 hour plate of tasks every day. It is difficult, sometimes impossible to perform our task of keeping the DOT satisfied / pipeline running /attending mandatory meetings / training and then get to tasks that are beyond our job scope."

Tee hee. Snippy? I think maybe. I do of course feel bad for them as I know they are busy so maybe I will not yet point out that it is actually part of his job scope as the VP of Operations has made it part of his job performance review.