Pod life

I thought M's head was going to explode twice this morning. We're going to have to get the Admin to requisition some masking tape so we can quarter up the pod... it's like this: P's moving in this afternoon and he visited us (particularly M) twice this morning. Both times before he left he fires off a parting shot of "insert some random facts here" and "you should look it up." At lunch on the way out past our pod he says to me "Berlin is actually a city of Slavic descent. You should look it up."

Particularly weird: everything ends in some sort of soapbox opinion. We were talking about home renovations and it practically ended in fisticuffs.

Pod life just got a lot more interesting this afternoon!

Bad behaviour

Here's what I hate: people who use pregnancy to excuse their (what I observe to be their normal & what I consider to be bad) behaviour. I have to admit that I disrespect people who have food issues as a regular philosophy, however if someone normally is finicky and picky and particular and complains regularly to wait-staff, imho it is inexcusable to blame your behaviour on the fact that you're pregnant.

If you normally order half hot chocolate/half coffee at Tim's and go back to complain about the ratio of hot chocolate to coffee on a regular basis, being pregnant doesn't mean you get to go back to the staff and complain about the ratio AND be rude about it.

If you normally ask for a plain multigrain bagel with butter on the side and get either a plain or a multigrain bagel, already buttered, you might consider refining your request to: A multigrain bagel, nothing on it, because clearly you have a communication problem. Then ask for some butter and a knife, because clearly no one can butter toast the way you do. You're special dammit!

Leaving out the words PLAIN and butter in your instructions will help clear up many things for staff while they're already bewildered by the fact that someone drinks hot chocolate with coffee in it! Or worse yet, coffee with hot chocolate in it! Dammit! But don't say "dammit, I'm pregnant and I deserve to get exactly what I want!" because dammit, you ALWAYS get what you want, you big baby!

Dammit!! All this before my first coffee? Seriously?? Stop introducing observable stress into my life!!

Hahah new show

Dr. Horrible

Slurpees

Someone told me that Macs has the best slurpess because they have Crystal Light raspberry slurpees so they don't have any calories. I was like "seriously? do you know you're a girl?"

Except for, you know, all the sugar.

Dressing up

J: You have to dress up for work? Like how dressed up? I have jeans and a sweater on today but I'd rather be more comfortable at home.

M: Yeah we dress up. Business casual. There is a really long list of what is not appropriate. We're pretty much what I would call full business dress except men in our building aren't always required to wear suit jackets. And we have a lady who is like the clothing police, she will pull you aside and not nicely tell you what you're wearing wrong. They proudly told me in my interview that they have casual Fridays "where you can feel at home!" neglecting to tell me that it's ONE Friday a month and you are allowed to choose to wear jeans without holes, stains, etc requirements, etc requirements, but ONLY with the appropriately logoed shirt. One shirt looks like a gas meter reader's shirt. Then there are a few more that are bright horrific blue, orange, yellow and green polo shirts. "Feel at home? Listen, if I felt at home I'd take my pants off and throw them on the floor."

J: Yah exactly, that sounds more like uniform day to me. If it was feel at home day I'd be naked eating a bowl of ice cream and the rest of you sure as hell wouldnt be there blocking the sweet tanning rays.

"hullo, I would like to renew a license to wear old spice..."

I would like to tell you what they use to keep track of all the work at my new job, all the design/construction documents and any emails about checking in/out source code. It is: Lotus_freaking_NOTES.

"Welcome to 1988! Lookit: We have a computer!"

Sappy post

So to clarify the bunny scratching/peeing from the last posts: normally my bunny was really really sweet, he just really didn't like getting picked up, which is why he'd kick up a fuss every time I had to put him back into his cage. Outside of being happy and "marking" his people and things he was really fun to have zipping around.

Usually I'd get a picture of him like this:

Followed by a picture like this:

And if I was lucky one like this:

Sadly he was at the Vet on Friday to get neutered. I was hopeful it would stop some of his marking behaviour, but his little heart stopped while he was under anaesthetic. Rabbits are fairly fragile little things... which is why there are so many of them, I guess. I'm going to miss the little bugger. I hope someone shaves carrots for him the way he likes where ever he is.

Trading up!

I traded a drafting table (I got from a friend for free) for a snowblower (that needs a little tune-up)! Yay no more shovelling next winter!

Today. So far, so good.

Saturday: fell down the stairs, got scratched by my bunny, got bit by my bunny
Yesterday: i got scratched by my bunny, fell down a bank, accidentally fell in the creek, got peed on by my bunny
Today, so far: cut my finger opening a sugar dispenser at the coffee station

I'm your best date ever

I turn up late due to bunny peeing on me before I leave. We go for a walk in the ravine but I wipe out and slip down a muddy hill and bruise my bottom never mind get totally muddy. I attempt to jump the creek and determine that it is deeper than it looks, way deeper. Deeper than my knees for sure, but not quite waist high. Eventually I squish my way home.

Oh yeah, he'll be calling me again, for sure!

In my cube

M: do you have a black felt marker?
A: Not here...
M: oh. too bad. I would draw moustaches on the glass in my office and pretend when people are looking at me that they are french.

Minding my own

My sister texts me:

Um so standing at the bus stop minding my own business and there's a bum laying on his side on the other side of the bench. i look over and all of a sudden there is a stream of liquid coming from him. does not even bother to stand to pee. just lets it go. by the time my bus came he had rolled over into it. and we wonder why they smell so rank

Odd

odd: people who have email addresses in their email signatures
odder: people who email you to ask for your email address so they can send you something

My sister writes

So I bought a flask/thermos thingy from the dollar store this week so I can take milk to work and eat my cereal at my desk. Turns out it is not very water tight. Although this is not entirely too surprising to me being that I paid a dollar for it, I am still disappointed.

Perspective on the bad day

Some days you may have to take 3 midol to be able to start the day, but your neighbours' house and garage burning to the ground puts your day into perspective.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why, to get to the other side, of course!

Much like a woman who was crossing 75th Street today at Whyte Ave. She was walking so slow I thought she might be going backwards. But, to be fair, she was distracted by a bag of chips. Every second step she ate a handful. By the time she reached the other sidewalk it was empty.

It was a really long light.

My Tyres

Today at lunch I discussed opening an IT shop with a colleague, it would only be a go we agreed if we would append a P and an E to the word and would consistently write kick-ass programmes. Also we would insist on tyres being spelled with a Y. Why? Because we said so. This is an IT Shoppe after all. We have standards!

Speaking of tyres you should go read this post from 2005 and come back here for a story.

Ok, Story Time!

We are digging out of our crazy 2-day spring snowstorm in Alberta. I would have taken the bus to school on Tuesday for my exam if I didn't have to meet with someone afterward. The place where I got stuck the worst was in a parking lot, well, sort of stuck, stuck enough that it took me five minutes of back and forth to get out and not stuck enough that anyone came to help push me out. Then I drove home without any problems as most of the main streets had already been cleared.

I turned into my street later and I took it easy since there were some pretty deep ruts and my car is lower than the redneck trucks in the neighbourhood. I'd noticed a banging noise from underneath the car after the parking lot incident but didn't think anything of it and then it went away, maybe it was a block of ice or something that had built up or gotten jammed in. So carefully I rounded the corner by my house but 10 houses from my driveway I just stopped moving. When I stepped on the gas I didn't hear anything, not tires spinning on ice, not the motor revving, nothing. After checking I hadn't stalled I got out and saw that my TIRE HAD FALLEN OFF MY CAR. The banging noise my dad figures was the tie rods that join into the drive shaft (or something like that, ha ha look at me being such a car-pro) had a bolt shear off or something from all the potholes & bumpy winter driving...

The phone call:
"Dad, my tire just fell off!"
" ...It. did. not."
"It did, can you come help me? I'm just on my street, I can see my house, and it just fell off after I turned the corner."
"No way, come off it..."
"No really, the driver's side tire is off. Can you please come help me? And bring some tools!"

The tire thing really is my own fault, and here's how: a few weeks ago driving to school and dropping my sister off downtown we rounded a corner on Queen Elizabeth Rd and a car was stopped at the top of the hill blocking traffic. Its tire had fallen off. We giggled and wondered how that could happen, and listening to the radio someone reported on the traffic that someone's wheel had fallen off their car on such and such street and "how could that happen??" YES. I'll tell you how it happens: quickly and easily. You don't even notice anything if there's a lot of snow under your car. Your car just stops moving.

Now I'm going to be totally freaked out even more than when the hood of my car flew up while going 80km/hr on Calgary Trail.

Sad, is what it is

When the only reason you log on to email is to transfer code or files to another server.

TAGS are here!

So in an attempt to prolong the misery of my many labs I figured out tags for the blog today. And by figure out, I mean, actually do it. See how easy it is? It had to be, if everyone else has done it ages ago... so then I went back a ways and applied tags to old stuff. It turns out I have a lot of work related posts. Since we spend most of our waking hours at work I guess that makes sense. Second only to bus postings... I have a lot of observations about life on the bus.

other gems from today's class

current = cuwwent
desired (I have started hating hearing about choosing the "desired" selection)
retrieve= retweeve (we retweeve a lot of stuff in pwogwamming, pronouncing R's always optional)
error = "application error. contact your analysis." (uh, analyst?)
"grrr! i cannot type in the dark!" (or in the light)

what a nut... he's one of the reasons I've disappeared for a while, 29 days left! w00t!

what in ternation??

Mentioned several times in a lecture: "Alteration"
Written on board several times in a lecture: "Alternation"

Hockey neighbours

To say that my neighbours love hockey would be like saying all people like to breathe oxygen. They placed him in a private school this fall and recently pulled their son out of the private school in order to place him in a private hockey school. This is a good thing, as the private school made him cut his hair when school started, so it will still take a little time before the mullet grows back in.

When I moved into my house last year I noticed that there was a bucket beside the side door with 13 hockey sticks in it. This winter they poured a rink for their kids in the backyard. It's not just the kids that play, it's the entire family. But good for them!

PSD

A friend of my parents was interested in when I was finishing up school and what exactly I would be once I grew up.

"My next designation," I explained "is a CST diploma - Computer Systems Technology."
"Oh yeah? So when are you getting your PSD?"
"PSD?"
"Professional Student Designation..." (much laughter)

har har.

Better than knitting

It's my bunny now.

I think my mom wants me to learn a little responsibility.

And maybe how to be in a relationship.

I called it Foo, which is a computer joke, when you don't know what to name something you call variables Foo. My mom thinks that is hilarious because she remembers my favourite song as a kid was "Little Bunny Foo-Foo" which now that I think of it, is still one of the best songs ever.

Sooo... its name is Foo-Foo.

We name our pets odd names.

SIX WEEKS

It has seemed like forever but it is not. In six or seven weeks I may be employed again, not exactly finished school -- but almost. Yesterday I had talked to a program coordinator about my last two classes to finish up, but they run concurrently (and conflictingly on the same evenings) this summer. There will be no exceptions made for me. Sad, but I can deal with that.

Next Friday they're bringing in 18 employers (one single employer has 20 available positions) for the graduating class of 20 people, to which our semester is invited. The industry is feeling a crunch and talking with several others, it seems like the next five years will be hay-making time. The best part about next Friday is that the coordinator invited one employer, one that takes the entire company on a skiing holiday during the winter, specifically for me -- knowing my interests match the company's profile and realizing that I can finish two courses subsequently on my own time.

I am astounded. Overwhelmed. Six weeks left. I'm not sure what I'm feeling but it's similar to either ecstatic relief or petrifying fear.

Words of wisdom

Deadpan:

You might want to check my addition... I use a solar powered calculator and mark at night.

Recently, in H&M, something occurred to me

Trawling along behind someone who dashed into H&M in WEM it occurred to me that I don't much like going shopping with other people when:

1. I don't have money I want to spend (I have money but I'm just not in the mood, I think I might only like to shop by myself)


2. when I'm also not really in the mood for sitting in a change room watching someone change outfits, although I will wait patiently for my friends


3. when I'm wearing at least one too many layers and so I'm hot and itchy in my wool coat

Just then a lady turned around and sneezed on me.

The Paranoia Helpline

A woman I have only been friends with a short period of time has started calling me very regularly for computer help. Last time she had jiggled all the cords, checked the power and could hear the Microsoft doing-doing-DOINNNNGGGG song but the monitor wasn't coming on, and did I think that she might have to replace the monitor? She certainly thought so, but did I, was her question. I assured her that if she had jiggled all the cords then it certainly seemed that way to me.

She's also asked me to secure her wireless network and set up user accounts on her laptop which she got from work for her family members.

Here's why it's weird to be called for help:

At Christmas time I was invited to a party at her place and I was told to bring a friend. In the car on the way over I mentioned to my hostage, I mean FRIEND, that I thought this person didn't like me... no specific reason, but I just got that impression. At our arrival I introduced my friend to this woman, then we wandered into the kitchen for some drinks where she introduced the friend I had brought but she totally blanked on my name. In the car on the way home my friend and I giggled about her forgetting my name.

So now I'm 911 for computer help. It is so odd. It makes me think that she might only tolerate me for the help.

Or I might be paranoid.

The Post Office

I bet you the post office would be dead by now, except for bills, flyers and online shopping. I'm thinking Canada Post will be doing ok from now on. I'm too lazy to go out and drive around looking for things I want.

online privacy

The strange thing about being online is privacy and anonymity. I've read a few articles that recommend transparency for married couples -- shared emails, no secrets -- as a way to bolster a healthy relationship.

I would like to say: WTF?

I cannot think of anything more annoying that getting an email back from someone's husband when I email the wife. Men, you see, think differently, which can be so annoying. And they seem to never get their own mail. This is why the post office invented junk mail, so that the boys would have something to read.

Back to emails: they think if an email comes in, any email must be answered. Void of complete thought and regard they email back something so stupid you would think they surely set out to annoy you. Even better: the female half wonders why she never hears from you after she gets married.

I would recommend no shared emails. I thank my friends who do not currently share an email, and would ask them to never consider combining emails.

Disgraceful

It is disgraceful that I as a web developer/designer have not taken the time to create my own template for my blog or figured out tags.

I'm just saying it's disgraceful, not that it will change.

The CBC lies

Right now JPod is supposed to be on tv. But it is not, which is sad because I had planned on it for tonight. I think it's one of the best new shows that nobody is watching yet... never mind it is a Canadian show, it's also based on a Canadian book! Oooh how exciting!

So far the first few episodes stick pretty close to the book -- and that was totally hilarious! The Douglas Coupland book was not my first Coupland book, but it's an insta-favourite. I'm not sure what exactly appeals to me: the whole Dilbert-stuck-in-a-cube theme, complete with crazy colleagues that you love to bits as well as the teeth-clenching irritating colleagues that you wish you didn't have to work with, the annoyingly cheerful and totally useless/clueless boss, people that get paid more than you and don't deserve it, is one very familiar thing I love about it but I also love that the characters have way more interesting lives than I do. Heck, even the character's parents have more interesting lives than I do -- the one guy's mom grows pot in the basement and the father is an dismal but aspiring second-career second-rate actor who is also a sex fiend. The other guy's mom is a commune-living-hippie-feminist who named him "Juniper" as a baby, though he had his name legally changed to John Doe.

It's a bunch of code monkeys working on a game with corporate trying to thwart their plan, and a manager who stymies every creative thought. Well worth checking out.

That is if it comes on the CBC when it is supposed to. :(

Double Ugh.

Everyone in class was sick on Friday, so of course I caught what they were sharing. I haven't been this sick in a long time -- and it comes and it goes; some minutes I'm literally sitting in my underwear sweating, the next I'm bundled in sweaters and bathrobes and blankets teeth-chatter-shivering. It has robbed my will to study and any sense of caring about the exams this week. Oh yes, it's quiz week at NAIT, half way to midterms. I didn't go to school the first two days this week, being sure that the -44 windchill only would make me feel worse. And it did, today I came home from school and took a 5 hour nap, waking up at almost bedtime dehydrated, with a headache and no will to study for tomorrow's 2 quizzes.

I don't know which is worse, the cold in my head or the cold outside. Double ugh.

Two animals I am afraid of

I really like Google videos, I check them out often. Here's a little boy who was interviewed about Australia and said

"Two animals I am afraid of: Crocodiles, sharks and snakes."

hee!

I'm afraid of hyenas. According to any animal documentary they will swoop in every time and on any continent to eat the little babies and the hurt. Animal kingdom jerks!

Hmmm... and snakes. I don't trust things without legs.

I'll have a grande double barf latte...

Some people make interesting noises when they are by themselves. This is not ok with me. I had the misfortune to be within earshot of this strange woman in Starbucks who "mmmmm! MMMMM!" appreciatively over her drink. First she picked up her frap with both hands and slurped loudly on the straw, then smacked and ahhhed when it turned out to be so tasty. Yep, oblivious to my glaring, of course.

Eventually she started being more quiet and I was very appreciative. That is until she started banging a small metal object on the table. Irritated I looked up a few times to see what the heck was going on, but her hand obscured the object. Finally I caught on to what she was doing -- clipping her nails (and picking at her hangnails) in public and getting out the bits by whacking the nail clippers on the table.

I got up and left.

Members

Programming is super funny. There are many times a day that there are discussions about public. vs. private members, adding to a member, hiding and showing members, and most importantly the particular value of particular members.

It's hard to keep a straight face some days.

I like to remember

There's been a great number of things lately that have reminded me of my grandparents. Before Christmas I was talking to a friend who also had family members die this fall. "I don't like to think about them," is what he said physically shaking it off "it makes me sad to remember them."

I get what he meant but remembering isn't alway sad. I need to remember the good people and that there were so many good things in my life.

I was holding a melon for our family cat and remembered how incredibly relaxing it was to sit with my grandma while she ate. There is nothing more relaxing than watching a cat or a blind grandma eat. They are focused, quiet, and you are on relaxed alert. The mind-numbing repetition of someone else eating is so soothing. And there is nothing nicer than sharing a meal with another person. I think Oma liked having people around after so long a time eating by herself. It is comforting to not be alone.

There's a bottle of Listerine in my bathroom that is 95% done. When I bought it I was incensed that they would make me buy more than a litre of mouthwash at a time. It has lasted me about half of forever, but every night I remember waking up on Sunday mornings hearing my grandpa gargling in the bathroom, ducked under the covers waiting for the Listerine smell announcing he was ready for the day. That good smell would be followed by coffee and I have to explain that this was MAGICAL coffee smell, as no coffee ever has or will smell as good as my grandpas. Last before hopping out of bed and getting started the smell of porridge would waltz into the room and hurry us out of bed. To this day if I eat porridge I compare it to his.

Coffee reminds me of my other grandma, who would carry a full cup every where, so she could sit and relax and have coffee. I took up knitting to relax by myself, but I haven't done a great job while in school of relaxing with people but I hope that once this course work is done I'll be able to connect with people again.

FYI!

Knitting! It takes balls!

This is funny

Read the article, and then watch the skit.

It's funny, but funnier yet is that it is so funny to Germans.

Odd instructor habits

Last semester an immigrant instructor said EARLS instead of URLs. Odd but he's an immigrant.

This semester, a java genius, also says EARLS.
A network guru, says *sigh* :eyeroll: all class long.

Instructors are so odd.

Banana

I love bananas more than anything. Maybe that is why I bruise like a bad banana every time someone pokes me.

Define: Circs

So I guess Google doesn't do a good job of defining circs... circular knitting needles. It's two needles connected by a cord, like so.

Today I got a "squishy" in the mail -- a squishy type package. Yarn. For Socks. Yup, sock yarn. I took a nap this afternoon and arranged it so I could see it if I opened my eyes. I might be a tad obsessed. Okoko, I am totally obsessed.

How ridiculous!
But it is SO relaxing.

I'm twice as far a long as this now, furtively knitting in my 3 hour class break yesterday. I had to go to a different floor to hide out. Still got stared at, but not by my geeks.

Momentous Day

Today, for the first time ever, I purchased something on Ebay. YAY! I am a winner! Congratulations to me on winning my first bid ever! (on something no one else even bid on... and obviously few people want)

But Ebay Maria?!
I KNOW! Shocking.

I held out against it this long, but my recent obsession has driven me to give up even that long standing conviction. I bought 17 German-manufactured circs so cheap, they must have fallen off a truck somewhere, hehehehe, it doesn't mater, I'm going to love them and give them a good home anyway!

12-Month Calendar

On sale now: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

That is about half a habit a month. I think Highly Effective People could probably manage more than half a habit a month.

Top Nightmares

A list:

1. Oscar the Grouch
2. Wizard of Oz: the wizard AND the witches
3. Ewoks (and my cousin's dog looked like an ewok. I was horrified to discover that one day.)
4. The blueberry boy from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Christmas Dinner

It turned out to be ok to go to the shop dinner this year, luckily no one blamed ME for the terrible food because 1) I didn't chose where we went this year and 2) it turns out German immigrants eat at Olive Garden and like it. Mystery solved!

The guy I sat next to and I compared stupid immigrant questions. It's a recent life story feature I don't think I have documented, but must rectify as my life is overrun by refugees and they can be hilarious without meaning it. For example he'd gotten "where can I find a small wallet" that day, but when he suggested The Bay or Sears they became angry and told him there were no SMALL wallets there. So he sent them to Winners without having a clue just to get rid of the arguer! (define: small??)

When I got home my immigrants had company who were discussing traditions or, rather, the lack of traditions that "English" (meaning Canadian) people have. I was trying not to listen but I ended up mulling over their uproarious laughter when one of them remarked that all Canadians seem to eat for special occasions is "turkey, turkey, turkey!" They all took turns talking about the things that they eat back home, for example one of the women remarked that traditionally goose or duck is the Christmas dinner, however she'd only ever made it once, it was a lot of work and very fatty, so her family didn't like it. (traditionally those Germans who don't eat duck or goose for their Christmas Eve dinner eat potato salad and wieners, yum) Someone else suggested that for Easter they usually eat lamb, but everyone else protested vehemently that they don't enjoy lamb, poor little lamb. So then they all agreed upon a ham for Easter. Which just about covers the German traditional feasts... as far as I can think about. They don't do Thanksgiving. They have a lot of days off at Christmas but Christmas Eve is the only real day for celebrating.

So for only making a duck once in 50 some odd years, eating wurst, and refusing to eat lamb, how is that different than turkey, turkey, turkey?

On the bus

A whole pile of Junior High guys. So cool that everyone on the bus couldn't help but want to be them when we were their age.

One says: you know if a girl punches you, you can only hit back once if she hits you twice.
His friend, uncertain: no, you should not punch girls...
Too cool to be wrong: no it's ok if you punch her once for every two times.

...and this

 

I've also finished these... wrist warmers, a really fun quick project. I should get sick more often.

Things I do when I am sick

 

Sometimes I decide all the upholstery needs to be vacuumed but when I am woozy like this time I kind of go crazy laying around. Passing the time with a craft helps.

This one is waiting for a head that is a bit tinier than mine. It was made for a child

I have a sore throat

So I bought some pomegranate & Vitamin C Halls that have a faint after taste of dirt.

This, if you can believe it, is a vast improvement over the cough candies my SIL fobbed off on me last night, that faintly taste like licorice and shoe polish, if by "faintly" I mean "incredibly intense to the power of infinity."

And all just because I was getting tired of cherry. I'm sooooory cherry!! I'll never cheat on you again!

How to identify a cult

My brother and sister and I were in a car stopped at a light and he points to one of those blue air freshener dolphins hanging from someone's mirror and he says suspiciously pointing at it "I see those dolphins EVERY where in cars now. I think it's a cult."

I thought my sister and I would have to get out and sit on the curb we were laughing so hard.

A few weeks later I reported to him that I saw a car with about 10 dolphins and a plastic cherry thing, that it must have been the leader. Not so funny, he thought.

The thing about the bus is...

I really wanted to say: You are in charge of transit for a million people city, plus outlying areas. You should start acting like this matters. Run your transit on a German Time Clock and throw on a few extra buses. Or else you'll never win over more riders. We WOULD pay more money gladly for service that rocks, but right now that 59 bucks is like paying for someone to come and kick you in the shin every day for a month. It doesn't hurt that bad, it doesn't make us cry, but twinges every day.

School and if I were in charge

Sometimes going to NAIT is like going to high school. Someone got a lab extension because: no ink in printer at home. Also someone got an extension for visio crashing their computer at home so they couldn't complete the lab to hand in. Meanwhile, the instructor has already marked & handed them back today... and they are still not handed in for the special crew.

I'm not sure if the instructor is scared of this student or what, because if I was an instructor I'd be like "you FAIL at problem solving" - seriously, memory stick or email or something, bring it to school, they have printers here. Also The Future Store sells ink.

I'd be a mean instructor, I'd kick people out all the time and make fun of lousy work and people who don't know how to double click.

So what happens at the University if you have to hand in a CD and it is blank? Hahaha, lab extension at NAIT!

I <3 Nasan

warning -- incoming chatlogs

me: hey can I ask you a question about your resume, I wondered all through supper about living on your own hump.
what does that mean? is that a Chinese saying?
S: hum.....
it's from an online dictionary....
andd I just copy & paste it....
me: haha really?
i thought about it for the last hours and am trying to figure out if it relates to a camel's hump and living off one's own resources or what
S: lol
it's like
hump means back, right?
me: you can have a hump on your back, but generally no...
S: it's like, 'I'm on your back' that's means I'm supporting you
me: no
hump = bump
S: and my hump maybe means, support myself...
me: no
Steven: hump = bump ?
.....
me: like a big bump when old ladies and men don't stand up straight
like the humpback of notredame
S: but, sometime hump also means carrying something?
you got me?
i guess no lol
me: no, hahaha
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=define%3A+hump&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
good try though
S: During nearly for weeks in this glorious place I have lived on my own hump.
me: NO
hahahhaa
S: tha'ts what on the dictionary!
me: that doesn't make sense!
no way
bring in your dictionary... I will cross it off, it doesn't mean that
S: I dont enjoy humping heavy furniture around all day.
lol
it's an online dictionary~
me: hahaha
HAHAHAHA
S: is that make sense?
me: nononono
it's so bad! :)
S: but you are laughing, that's means it at least means somthing :-o
me: people sometimes say hump when they mean have sex with.
and unless you say hump+back
or hump and mean camel
S: what???
have sex with???
hump?
me: sex is humping
S: oh!! but it's not the only way of have sex
me: to say sex? no there are others
S: ppl can have sex in different ways...
me: did you click on the link I sent you?
S: yes
me: ok well there you go.
S: haha~~yeah, you did really good job to correct that for me!
I don't want the employer thinks I want to have sex with them
me: i'm sure most people would spend the night like I did thinking about camels
S: yeah, boy camels have 2 humps...
me: I bet you they wouldn't think about sexx
boy camels have 2 humps??
oh I don't know if I want to hear the rest of this story!! hahahaha
S: camels have humps right? and boy camels have 2 , and girls have 1?
me: no it depends on the type of camel
hahahaha
S: really???
......
me: what do they teach you in Chinese zoos?
S: sorry about that ...x-(
me: hahhaa
the 2 hump is a dromedary?
no the 1 hump is the dromedary
I just looked it up
S: yeah, me too lol
me: hahah
i forget what the 2 hump is
S: yeah, chinese is much more simple in this case
me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bactrian_camel
S: dromedary is called '1 hump camel'
me: that's the 2 hump one
hahhaa
really? and everyone thinks it's a girl?
S: I think just me...
me: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hump
S: Hump is the lump on your ass....
me: YES
exactly
like the song
bubble butt
S: lol~
interesting
me: hahaha
it's funny to read
S: yeah, english is interesting
like, bush , it's bush, but it can be a name
me: yes it can be a language or a name
S: yeah, but I think the reason why Bush is looks like a monkey it's because of his name
me: hahahaha
bushes are small though, not like a tree
S: and jackson, HiJack, jack's son
me: monkeys wouldn't like bushes
S: Jackson
me: that's how the name probably came about
S: they like!! coz trees like bushes....
me: there's a lot of xxxson's
S: yeah, a lot of interesting name in english
Jason
Nason
W/eson
me: Nason?
S: nasen?
Nesion?
me: Nathan?
S: na sen?
nei sen?
me: hahaha I think you must mean Nathan
S: I forget how to spell it, it's like Jason, but a N instead of J

On Mazdas

I <3 my sunroof... um I use it all the time because it makes the car less like jail. And sometimes truckers standing next to me at lights look down into my car when it is open and that is funny. I cannot imagine owning another car without sunroof, I am not kidding.

A letter to ETS

I've never written a complaint to ETS, but I have written commendations over the years. This morning was a pretty terrible ride, so here's my first complaint ever to ETS.

What happened this morning:
Bus #4395 - NAIT special, left Millwoods Transit Station at 7:05. It arrived at NAIT not at 7:45 but at 8:05.

Some of us leave our houses at quarter to 7 in order to make it to school/work on time. It would be helpful to have bus drivers, routes and schedules that would accommodate us getting there on time.

First the bus driver drove down 23rd Avenue until he reached Calgary Trail when someone asked him where he was headed. Then he drove down Calgary Trail to 34th Ave, where he turned onto 34th Ave and pulled over twice to read his map. Apparently he had trouble locating Lakewood. When he nearly turned right instead of left someone got up and stood by him for the rest of the drive to make sure he knew where he was going. It arrived at Lakewood at 7:22 and left Lakewood 3 minutes later. No one got on. No one got on at Millgate either. One person got on at Bonnie Doon. Problems locating Downtown happened after that. Despite the helpful rider pointing out which exit to take in the Bonnie Doon traffic circle the bus driver still took the exit into Forest Heights. A complicated backing up procedure happened after that.

I have 4 points to make about the bus driver assigned to our route this morning:

* Better route training - Drivers should know where the Transit Centres are & where they are in relation to the others. Know where you're headed when you leave a transit centre, because your riders DO. If you don't, ASK.
* Better city training - the city layout is the same in the dark as in daylight, Downtown always is in the centre of the city, from Millwoods that is north. ALWAYS.
* Map reading skills - consult your assigned route, preferably not while driving. It has a map, check it before you leave.
* Problem solving skills - 20 or more minutes after you've missed a transit centre no one there is still waiting for YOUR bus, they've found alternate routes that know where they are headed. Just get the people STUCK on your bus to their destination without being MORE late.

While I'm still at it, I have some observations:

* Lakewood Transit Center is the only Transit Center without a clock. Why? It would be helpful to have a clock.
* Downtown Transit Center digital clock inside the shelter is still on daylights savings time. It is now 2 weeks past the time change. This is annoying.

I realize that transit gets me to where I'm going every day. I do appreciate that. These complaints come from a place that wants more people to rely on the great service ETS does provide 99% of the time.

260 - The History of the Internet. 3 times a week. Today's agenda: introduction to Web Design.

As if I hadn't already been bored...
Here's my chat log:

Me: hahahha, the history of the internet prof is talking about the internet.com today and he's calling them "EARLS" (that is: URLs) phahahahha
J: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
you should tell him that the term url is deprecated and he should be
using URI instead
pfft history indeed
Me: In class example:

This is a paragraph that tries using underlining, italics, and bolding
together with a line break.

J: ummmmmmmmmmmmmm
em is for emphasis, hth!
Me: u is deprecated -- hth! hahahhaa
Me again: {text-decoration: blink;} HTH!!!
(css itt!)
J: Oh yes! swoon!
Me: HAHAHA, oh man after I sent that we have actually just added blink to our style sheet... HAHAHAA Oh my I'm going to love this class... Snoooze! Ohno! :pencil:
J: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha watch your eyes! :pokepoke:

It's just too early for this in the morning, is what it is.

Nerds 2.0.1

260 - The History of the Internet. 3 times a week. It is enough to make me >:( most days.

You have no idea but in this class today we are watching a video on the history of the internet made by PBS in 1998. >:( It contained the following quote:

it's not a hula-hoop, the internet is not a fad

I dunno but this class sucks. It's the history of the internet OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I want to run screaming from the room. Also he announced the rest of the itinerary for that class... XHTML. Awesome. I guess I might do alright in this class if I don't fall asleep and impale myself on my pencil!

Le Soup

My mom made a lot of French Onion Soup growing up because some people apparently really like it -- I call it Tape Worm Soup.

Dilemma itt.

It's windy and cold. It feels weird to walk and have wind blowing up your nose when you're trying to breathe out of your nose. You're breathing out of your nose since you don't want gravel to hit your teeth. Dilemma itt!!

Power Attack

We had a power outage this night, luckily the smoke detectors woke me up in the middle of it :heartattack: to alert me to the fact that the power was out. I didn't want to know but I learned something: I need new batteries for my alarm clock. I also could use a fresh pair in my flashlight.

...29 - Four Funerals and a Wedding

The last half of year 29 has been one of the worst years I can remember... never has "immer wenn du denkst es geht nicht mehr, kommt von irgendwo ein lichtlein her..." been more wrong. Every time I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.

Today was a funeral for a guy who had spent 30 years teaching in the same junior high school -- and from the comments of his students and fellow teachers really made a difference. I remember babysitting his kids, two of the funniest children I remember sitting. This is the fourth funeral in 2 months -- the first being my dad's friends funeral, one of the kindest and most dedicated men. Then both my grandmas.

Stress at work, stress in renovations, stress at school...

The highlight of 29 was my brother's wedding and early in March selling my condo and buying a house. I hope 30 turns out well. I'm actually not afraid of telling people that I'm turning 30 anymore.

Zamboni

It's weird when you get hit on by the school Zamboni driver... and it's a girl.

On the bus

Last week there was a crazy person on the bus who was talking to herself... the entire bus was not looking at her in case it should encourage a new bus friend. She was complaining about the buses always being late and never arriving on time and how the bus drivers touch her bum and how the government moved her without asking, then how "they" touched every single one of her underwear and now she's in her new place and only has one pair of shoes and they took her glasses and every time she coughs she pees her pants.

She coughed a lot.

but she's right about the buses always being late.

Boo earns

Standby UPS: Switches instantaneously to the battery when it detects a loss of power from the wall outlet.

I think that word is stupid and shouldn't be used. I don't know why I dislike it so much. I just do.

Good morning

A bundled up lady on the bus this morning (before 7 am mind you) puked out the back door, got back on the bus and sat next to me.

Again??

Two Oma's in two weeks seems like very wasteful of Oma's. And again, I have to move rooms.

Today in school I saw an Asian guy wearing toe socks... you know those creepy (and girly) socks where each toe has its own little sub-sock? And how do I know he had on toe socks?? He was wearing flip flops. That's right, flip flops.

To Poker or Not To Poke Her

We have had poker nights before but we have too many girls for that... it goes like this:

some girl: haaa!! oh boy oh boy!
someone else: got a good hand did you?
some girl: waitaminit, did you peek at my cards?!?

How to reboot

• Log off. Choose restart.


• Press the off button. Then press the on button. HINT: it's the same button.

One guy in my class had no idea how to restart/reboot his computer when the option was locked out of the start menu. How do you get into computer classes without knowing at least three ways of doing the same thing?

Reason #5678 why I'm still single

I like dogs and I like cats. I like cats better -- the ones we grew up with anyhow weren't needy... dogs it's like having a girlfriend. Ugh: Pet me, feed me, love me! STOP LICKING ME YOU FREAK!!

On the bus

An international student asked me where the street is with the naked ladies.
"Whut?"
"The street, you know, with the naked ladies."
I concentrated very hard on not laughing out loud.
"Hmm," I said "No, no I don't know. I don't think they're naked, but I assume you mean 97 Street, past the Stadium."
"97 Street? Wait, Chinatown is on 97 Street, are you telling me to go to Chinatown?"
"Whut? Hahahaha, No! North of Chinatown, around the Stadium."
*skeptical*
"Yeah, I don't really know where you'd find a street with naked ladies, you're going to have to ask one of the guys... sorry my friend!"

On sleeping, or not sleeping

Last week in class I was fascinated to read about polyphasic sleepers. There's a bunch of different schedules including the Uberman's and Everyman's Schedule on wiki.

So of course last night I slept not at all. This was in part to battling dragons all night long. Dragons being management of course...

I decided that my former place of work was equal parts made up of The Inert and The Inept. Also that I'm glad I don't work there anymore and that their problems are no longer my own. In the Inept category is the usual bunch of morons who can barely spell their name and people who can't operate PCs. The Inert are harder to define but I came up with this list:

• The New - they just haven't figured their place yet, they could be the Inept or one of the following


• Retired Brain - are they retiring or quitting? Either way it's Solitaire all day long and don't rock the boat!


• Optimists - "So happy to be here! Hugs for all! It could be worse elsewhere!" Believe they are making a difference and changing things from the inside.


• Personal Lifers - have things going on at home so complicated they need to come to work for some down time. This category includes wedding planners, people with kids, anyone who is dating, etc. "Work? Oh that place for making free personal calls all day long!"

I'm not sure which I was... probably a Personal Lifer. I have never been an Optimist; I'm more into Realism (or Pessimism if you will.)

What is it about work that makes us put up with so much crap?

Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah

The Ivory Club had a guy who covered this song, and it was awesome -- better than the original.

Feeling Sorry For Myself Because No One Else Will

I felt so sick from being tired. One night I turned off the light around 1:15 am and all I could hear was my uncle SNORING next door -- so I went upstairs to escape to the living room couch and found his girlfriend on the couch, also having escaped the noise. I bunked on the short couch until she started snoring too, after which I went to the crappy love seat at the back door. :(

I am kicked out of my house due to no bathroom,
I gave up my room at my parents for them to sleep in,
to sleep in the guest room,
only to give up the guest room for my uncle,
only to sleep on a foamy in the storage room,
only to escape the snoring to the living room,
only to escape to sleep by the back door.

Who feels sorry for me?? ME.

What'd you do on the weekend?

I cut myself with a sharp knife, a mandoline, the garbage can lid and a cardboard box.

The cardboard box cut is not even as bad as the mandoline cut on the top of my middle finger. It is very sharp. I should probably use the saftey thingy, but Danger is my middle name.

Office 2007

What'd they do to office?? This is not great. Where is the handy tool bars we know and love? Where is my new document button?? Where is the FILE menu??????????????? Luckily I know ctrl+n. Apparently MS did "research". I guess the people they asked were all MS partners and really liked the start button pfft... so they put a big button on the top - click here to do everything, but shhh, don't label the button. apparently everyone they asked is retarded.

WTF, we finally get all the admins trained to type letters ok and then they change fing word

Gimme back my GST!!!

Today on the way to catch my afternoon bus I passed a white haired fogey with a big chin. "Whoa," I thought, "that totally looked like Brian Mulroney."

Yup and dammit!! I missed my chance to kick him!! His quote for the day "I'm the former dictator of Canada" - har har. Thanks a lot Brian.

Add him to the list of infamous people I've seen:

Kirsty Alley - in a park, bitching at her assistant, on location in a made-for-TV movie before she made her so-called comeback
Ralph Klein - in a park in Calgary, the same park Kirsty was in
Joe Clark - in Kensington in Calgary with his wife just walking down the street
Brian Mulroney - on Jasper Ave, wandering with only one other guy

FUNEE!

How sad is it that I've discussed this exact equation before and the dating pool of eligibles??

In my expert opinion however, it is a load of crock. Both theories are a load.

HP vs Toshiba

So the former laptop with it's goofy keyboard is no more. One night while programming I had to reboot the computer to get my quotation marks back and that was it... enough anger!!

Now I have a HP. It is 11.6 lbs, 17,4 in. Size does matter. However the Toshiba was easier to setup. It was not worth, however, the anger dealing with the keyboard.

Supporting the French and losing out on business. For shame. I was almost as mad about this bad business idea as I was about the soup.

Programming

I didn't really give most people any heads up I was quitting and going back to school... I don't really have a reason except that it was kind of up in the air and it's not really anyone's business. Here is also why:

Other People: Back to school?? What are you taking?
Me: Programming.
Other People: Really? What kind of programming?
Me: Oh, microwaves, VCRs, clocks, that sort of thing.
Other People: REally??
Me: No of course not you moron. Compjuters.

On Banks

Banks like to hire Ed grads. Why I do not know. This is why banks are totally retarded.

hey french!

apparently my new laptop keyboard was accidentally changed to the french setting hence no hats and only backticks.

HAHHAHAHAHHA I really hate the board. They've got a non-standard keyboard with an extra line of keys in between L and enter. AKA A FRENCH BOARD.

hyjhijooipkihuuihuihuiokioji\./\`


Hellow how are you ??/////+++???/////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
it`s //```
it`s ««sdfadf

this is going back to the store

:dorks:

Naruto is magna. It has become anime because the graphic novels were so popular. There are four or five villages, and I now know this because someone was preparing himself for the day in the student lounge by tying a purple ninja bandana with a metal plate to his head.

Dorks live here. This is what I now know...

Survey School

Today at lunch I was dumbfounded when I glanced out of the window on a cloudly dreary day, onto a beautiful green lawn and noticed 20 surveying students, apparently learning how to survey. Who knew!

This truck has...

This truck has two front ends.

This pizza has...

On an Elementary School playground. Of all places.

The Rules

I'm thinking of a new rule that when people buy $300 mp3 players they are required to shell out for a decent pair of headphones too... a pair that channels their music directly into their brain, and not out into the rest of the bus. It's the most annoying cacophony of east indian (dingadingalinga) and thrasher metal (screaming) and techno (duffduffduff) on the bus every morning. Yesterday I swore some big dude was listening to the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing.

This is not ok with me.

Registration Post-it

My NAIT program sent me registration information in the mail on Friday that said I need to show up Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursdsay or else. The letter was dated Wednesday, and postmarked Thursday, and arrived Friday. Today someone from the program office calls me during a funeral to inform me that I have to get down to the registrars office today or else they revoke my registration. I go and guess what? I stand in line. Boo!

For a half an hour or forty minutes I stand listening to silly teens complain to their dads about how hard college is going to be, to little punks talking to their friends about how lame class was last year and which girl was hot. I stand in line some more only to be confronted by a registrar office lady who has no clue. At all. She had no idea you could pay online. No idea you could register online. No idea at all. Eventually she figures something out and she sends me down the hall with a POST-IT that says "Registered KS Aug 27-07" to the student ID card picutre people who send me away, since apparently the registration system takes a day to update. I should come back tomorrow, or if possible next week. By way of goodbye the student ID card picture lady says "make sure not to lose that post-it."

OK that's so awesome: I have a post-it as an official piece of registration.

Remember when?

Remember when that German man in the airport picked his nose for five minutes and at the end of it hid some treasures behind his ear?

Ha!

out of the blue my dad says "who is this Ofra woman?"
me: who?
dad: ofra!
me: never heard of her.
dad: ofra? famous lady?
me: ofra?
dad: yes ofra. Or opera. or something.
me: Oprah? you mean OPRAH? hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

German Ordnung

Germans have an interesting outlook on life -- Ordnung! is the highest of German virtues. Forests are orderly. Branches may not lie about on the ground, and all the trees are lined up in rows. You come out of the main terminal in Frankfurt and your soul sighs in relief to see sidewalk bricks aligned perfectly as far as your eye can see. Not only are they straight at the airport but in the rest of the city too. And not only that -- they have the exact same pattern on every street, in the entire country. You're asked to keep your kids in line and behave in an orderly fashion every where you go.

But maybe in a country of 86 million crammed into half the size of Alberta being orderly is the only way the people preserve sanity?

I drove up to my house yesterday evening and I had no idea where I was! All my bushes and shrubbery look European... neat, rounded off and very short! A German visitor of my renters was busy all day yesterday it seems. His soul must have just been crying looking at my yard.

Frankenstein, Vampire, Cookie monster?

From my sister's phone I get this text:

So R wants to know if u had realized that you have now gone on dates with both frankenstein and a vampire. hes keeping an eye out for the cookie monster for u just in case

Ha ha, me love cookie!

Don't men count??

This just in:

I notice on your website there is "information" for: special groups, professionals, parents, teachers, women, employers, youth, and aboriginal people. Quoting your own demographic survey statistics that men accounted for over 60% of your clients, where is the "information" just for men? I find this glaring omission sexist and undemocratic. Don't men count?

You think this is a man emailing us?? Nope! Sexist and undemocratic? It's a woman. From her work email. So I looked her up on the online staff directory -- Faculty of Medicine.

Baffling.

No Mail

There are people who never update their address list... but insist on snail mailing everything. Certain people realize that you've moved and get your new street address but continue to post everything with your new street address to your old city. Or a combination of your last three postal codes, cities and street addresses. Then they email you to confirm your address.

Maybe it's time to move into the electronic age and send your letter via email... since you're already on the computer box thing, you might save some time and 2 or 3 x 52 cents.

Have you seen the Bachelor show with women in their 40s competing against women in their 20s? They put a 30 year old tennis pro in this situation. He has had a lot of fun with the smart, successful, pretty 40 year olds even though some of them are old enough to be his mother, which is creepy weird. He's had uncomfortable silences with the 20 year olds though he admired their bodies and found it hard to keep his eyes focused on their faces. It's a Monday night study in awkward social interaction!

Kind of like the date I went on... half an hour before we were to meet he called me up and asked if he could bring his friend along. It turned out to be one of those kinds of dates -- a waste of time, but I laughed so hard and came away thinking it wasn't a complete waste of an evening. It was a set up of my sister's home inspector and me, and his friend Tim. Or Mike. I'm not sure what his name was but he was just out of jail. One of the first things I found out about the guy I was supposed to be on a date with is that he likes wolves and wants one as a pet. Or a wolf-dog, whichever really. And he likes to read. Mostly Anne Rice books, like 20 times over. And his favourite movie is The Secret. He wishes he were a vampire and that he could do magic. At some point he said "sometimes when I laugh hard I spit on myself". Quite frankly I have not laughed so hard on a date in a long time... it was really good that Tim or Mike was along to fill in the conversation and surprisingly I had a really good time.

And this is why I go out on dates. The best stories ever. I could never make this stuff up.

Blue not a Berry

My grandma used to freeze blocks of blueberries and raspberries and use them as ice cubes in punch... once I had a really juicy fat one stuck at the bottom of my glass, but when I tried biting it, it was kind of woody tasting. I was brought up that one never ever takes food out of one's mouth if it tastes funny, you just swallow it with a lot of water, but alas, no juice and no water in sight -- so I spat it out on my plate. It turned out to be a blue caterpillar, one of the fuzzy kinds, rolled up. Then I ate some soap. I have never ever stuck a caterpillar in my mouth again.

Pain in the HR

Our HR department hasn't got a clue. I like how for an admin position they say things like: Grade 12 diploma, supplemented by related courses and extensive experience with Windows 2000, Microsoft Office 2000, and the Internet are required when in reality they let anyone in. "Have you computer experience? No? But you know what a computer is and heard of the internet? No? But you *have* used a typewriter or pencil before? Well, no matter, it's not like rocket science, ha ha! Now how about the telephone, have you heard of this -- you press some numbers and hold a device to your head and hear voices...? No? Well, I'm sure you're a fast learner, no worries!"

The Long Light

About half of my commute is spent waiting at this light.

Who needs friends when you have enemies?

The Importance of Being Hated
In this golden age of enmity, friends are for suckers. What you need are a pair of well-chosen foes.
by Chuck Klosterman